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Would You Ask a Friend to Father Your Child?

Having a successful date is hard enough these days, so when you're ready to have kids but don't have a man in your life, it might be time to ask your best guy friend to father your baby. According to a new study in the London Times, more than half of the women surveyed — 56 percent to be exact — admitted to considering asking a male friend to be their baby's daddy if they couldn't find the right partner by a certain age. The survey also notes that two-thirds of women have concerns about their fertility, and surprisingly so do 26 percent of men. While having a baby is sure to be on many people's brains, both men and women in Britain are so concerned about it that they'd actually reconsider staying with their partner if they were unable to procreate.

For many, the preferred way to start a family would be with someone you're in a committed, loving relationship with, but tell me ladies, would you ever consider asking a male friend to be the father of your baby if you were unlucky in love?


Join The Conversation
MissJules5x MissJules5x 8 years
people change when there are children involved. what may have seemed like a good idea at the time then turns into disputes over how to raise the children, custody, child support etc... two people may have been the best of friends at the time and went into the process with the best intentions but a lot of times these relationships can sour. there is no real legal or moral obligation to eachother when you are just friends. a lot of married people or couples in a real relationship can't avoid these issues down the road so how can two friends? its a very complicated situation.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 8 years
I don't have any guy friends that I would want to father my child. I wouldn't want the kid to be like any of them. I'm just kidding -sorta. It's just too weird to ask. I might hint about it and see if he offers.
verily verily 8 years
I've actually joked about this with my best male friend. I would never seriously do it though. That just throws all kinds of complications into the friendship.
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
i don't think that i would ask a friend but i would definitely consider options to have a child. it's complicated if you have a child that your friend fathered - since it'll get complicated to explain it to people and to the child. i think that it's easier to have the conversation about having a donor that was anonymous or something like that. my current fear is that my fiance might have some 'issues' in that dept. i think that he has some genetic thing that makes it complicated to have a pregnancy go to full term, and if that's the case then i'm not sure what i'll do.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
I can think of one or two male friends who I would happily ask to father a child for me. One of them is gay and so I think he'd love to be asked. I won't be though. :)
lickety-split lickety-split 8 years
rather than not be a mom, i sure would have. adoption is not as easy as you might think.
chatoyante chatoyante 8 years
also- this scenario wouldn't necessarily involve sex with the friend. Probably better if it doesn't, I'd say.
chatoyante chatoyante 8 years
Sure - if the friendship was strong and long-standing enough, I'd consider it. Why not have the child originate from someone special to you, rather than some stranger?
julieulie julieulie 8 years
I would -- my best friend in the entire world is a guy, who isn't really interested in getting married or having children of his own because he knows his career will require too much time to devote as much as necessary to a family of his own. But he has always said that he can't wait until I have children of my own so he can be their "uncle" and take them for the weekend, etc. If something happened to my husband and it didn't work out, I would ask my best friend in a heartbeat to father my children -- he's a wonderful guy, and I think he'd be intrigued by the opportunity to have a child without having the full-time commitment and the feelings of guilt of not always being there 100% if he was the "real" father.
cptnruthless cptnruthless 8 years
One of my gay guy friends asked me to marry him if we were both still single and 40 - and we could both cheat on each other with hot guys! LOL But on a serious note, I would probably adopt :)
Frank-y-Ava Frank-y-Ava 8 years
Naw I don't about that, I think I'd pass on the sperm donor thing altogether. I'm with Jude C, I'd just adopt.
j2e1n9 j2e1n9 8 years
OMG I'm gonna be sick. If a guy is my "friend" its absolutely because I am not sexually attracted to him AT ALL. The thought of having sex with one of my guy friends who is not a boyfriend is enough to scare me into never wanting a baby anyway! Sick!
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 8 years
No I am too traditional when it comes to stuff like that. If i was single and older and childless, thats my lot in life. make the best of it!
Renee3327 Renee3327 8 years
I can understand the initial appeal but then what do you do if he wants to be a bigger part of the child's life? You can't exactly deny a friend of that the way you could someone you didn't know. Not to mention the complications if you find a man who you want to raise your child with down the road...
CYL CYL 8 years
agree Rock and about the chid..what do you tell the child..custody rights between the father and the child (because he still is the father even if he is just a friend)..roll of the father...differences in views on how to raise a child etc etc etc...
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
But you can't just ask a friend, it's not that cut and dry. Their are so many things involved.
rabidmoon rabidmoon 8 years
No way. Had I chosen motherhood for myself, I would have adopted long before this.
Marni7 Marni7 8 years
I guess it depends on the situation, time in my life and my relationship with that friend..but I still think I'll adopt before I do that.. although I understand why someone would do this, especially if they want to experience motherhood fully like wanting to be pregnant and go through that whole process
CYL CYL 8 years
If I was at that age, mentally, emotionally and financially able...I would probably adopt.
queenegg queenegg 8 years
I have always said that I'd do this. I have some really great male friends who feel like they won't have the chance either, so I'd definately figure out which one is best when/if the time comes and have a baby. I know it's bad because I really want to adopt too (I thought this before adoption became such a fad).
pippins_halfling pippins_halfling 8 years
I personally wouldn't. It feels like asking too much from a friend for me, but maybe I'm just weird.
MissJules5x MissJules5x 8 years
I think its a good option but can get messy with custody should the friendship sour etc... however, so can adoption, and anonymous sperm donors if something should go wrong. i think its all a personal decision. If I was still single at a certain age and wanted very badly to have children and felt that my time frame to have them was limited, I would definitely do whatever I could to get pregnant or have a child by other means. to each their own.
HeidiMD HeidiMD 8 years
I can understand it. I would feel much better knowing who my "sperm donor" was than just having an anonymous sperm donor from a bank. Having a friend father your child also allows for a greater chance of that child having a father (or mother) figure in its life.
Jude-C Jude-C 8 years
No. If I was single but wanted to have a baby very badly, I'd adopt.
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