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Would You Attend a Family Funeral of an Ex?

Two of Cameron Diaz's ex-boyfriends — Justin Timberlake and John Mayer — attended the memorial service for Cameron's father held this weekend. Maybe they just wanted to support her or maybe they had a good relationship with her dad, either way I found the news rather touching.

Sometimes it's important for exes to put aside their differences during tough times. I definitely have some ex-boyfriends who I would reach out to if they had a death in the family. I've also built relationships with exes' family members, especially their parents, whose funerals I would want to attend if tragedy struck.

What about you? Do you have exes who you'd want to be there for if they had a death in the family? And how would you feel if an ex did the same for you?

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Carolyn15342554 Carolyn15342554 3 years
Idk what to effin do. This guy I dated a year ago has a death in his family.... His mother died. I shared with him the kind of chemistry that ppl usually are not lucky enough to find rt away. Things didn't work out btwn us but he was the first person I was falling for after being single and divorced for over 5 yrs. Anyway we had a bad falling out... And agreed to just go our separate ways without being in touch. During the time we dated he told me about his mom's whole situation with her cancer, etc... And shared with me his most intimate feelings about it. Her funeral is in 7 hours... I spent the whole night debating with my sister n my girlfriends if I should go to her funeral for the fact that I respect him and want to be there.... My friend and cousin said I should go if I really cared about him in the past and to show my support without expecting anything in return... My sister thinks I'm insane and it would be too weird. I sent him a fb message expressing my deepest sympathy... He didn't respond. Bottom line is, as much as I want to go... I feel like I would be harming him more than good. Our last words Were not warm. I think the best thing I should do is leave him be. Btw, my sis is close to his cousin and was close to his sis growing up.... I'm torn :/
vmruby vmruby 9 years
Yes absolutely.I've had good and very lengthy relationships where i have gotten close to family members.I couldn't imagine not attending, it wouldn't feel right to me.The only reason i'm there is to pay my respects not to hang out and get caught up in the new girlfriend's drama.Thank god that's never happened.
kiwitwist kiwitwist 9 years
I think it is good for Justin to have been there. They were together for a long time. I think just some acknowledgement is good enough. Personally it depends on the relationship and how long ago it was.
runnergeek runnergeek 9 years
yes. i would go to my ex husband's family member's funeral. they were my family for over 13 years and they still are.
lightheaded lightheaded 9 years
Depends how serious the relationship was really... and how close you were to his family!
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 9 years
I would go if I was close to the person who died, or if my ex needed the support, and i would hope it would work the other way around too.
jesssa jesssa 9 years
you know, when my boyfriend of 6+ years and I broke up last august I thought about this for a bit. our relationship ended mutually and not without acknowledging our long history, however since then we are both in serious relationships with other people and while we have both moved on, he has made some attempts to have a friendship [i wanted this at first and he did not, then after a while he came around and i just realised we didn't have anything in common anymore]. anyway, when we broke up I thought about what if scenarios, like what if a family member died, how should I react. I think I would want to go out of respect for the person who died, not necessarily to support him [unless he specifically asked me to come]. and I'm not sure how his girlfriend would take it. I know my boyfriend might be upset if I chose to go but he would definitely understand my decision to attend the funeral/memorial service.
unicornsrule84 unicornsrule84 9 years
My ex lost both his parents, his mom before we dated, his dad after. He's only 22. I went to his father's funeral, and it was quite possibly the hardest thing I have ever done, but I am so glad that I did it. I know he appreciated it. It was very hard to show up and face all of the people I used to know and hang out with that I lost when we broke up, but I went there for him. Who cares about everyone else. I urge anyone in my position to go to the funeral. You will feel better afterwards, I promise.
jennjennnbubba jennjennnbubba 9 years
yes, its more out of respect than of your history. Not every but those whom you had a serious relationship with and your family had a good relationship with.
jennifer76 jennifer76 9 years
Yes, I don't have any past relationships that didn't end on good terms. When my one really long term ex's father died (who I was fairly close to in our younger days), I was very sad to be far away and unable to attend. The really strange thing was that I was far away at my husband's father's funeral.
graylen graylen 9 years
I emailed the obituary to my ex to let him know that my family member had died. We weren't on speaking terms at the time, but we had dated for 4 years and he was close to that family member, and I thought he at least deserved to know. I wouldn't have wanted him at the funeral though... it was so hard as is, and I wouldn't have wanted to concentrate on anything else.
Kazagirl Kazagirl 9 years
Omg I was so thinking about this after I found out that Justin and John attended Cameron's fathers funeral. I honestly do not know. It depends on how long we dated and if we were still close after we broke up.
mlen mlen 9 years
it depends. my one ex i knew his family very well, so i would want to go- but him and i didn't end things well, so i wouldn't just show up if his family member died- but if he asked me i'd definitely go. otherwise i'd send a card. my other ex i didn't know his family at all, so i'd only go if asked.
citizenkane citizenkane 9 years
when I first saw this, I didn't read the word 'family' and I though it said "Would you go to an ex's funeral". yes, I would go to an ex's funeral. Yes, I would go to ex's family member's funeral if the situation made it appropriate that I attend.
rpenner rpenner 9 years
I agree with the people who said they'd make sure it wouldn't put more stress on the day.
Cynnie Cynnie 9 years
I'm very close to my boyfriends' mom and dad. So, if we were to break up, I would definetly still go to the funeral. I think that's the least I can do. And, I actually wouldn't care if he would have his current gf with him to be honest, I'd do it for me because of how close I was to them.
BlairBear BlairBear 9 years
If my ex's mother or father died, I would go dance on their graves. :ROTFL: They made my life hell when we were together. If my ex showed up to either of my parents funeral, I'd kill him, he's not welcome!
alltherage alltherage 9 years
depends on the situation. but generally no.
missbanana missbanana 9 years
my bf ex's brother just passed and my bf was really close to her brother, and when he got the news he cried and cried, and he's going to the funeral, and its definitely a great thing to give his last respects.
michelle-c42934 michelle-c42934 9 years
My last two boyfriends were long term relationships, so if they invited me I would definately go.
skigurl skigurl 9 years
popgoes, i agree with that i would want to attend the funeral of my ex if his grandmother, parents, or siblings god forbid happened to pass away, as we were together for a long time, but i wouldnt want to put any undue stress on their day if someone in my family died, i would be honored if a few of my exes came (the ones i'm civil and have a friendship with), however, i have a story to share that might make me think twice about what i'd ACTUALLY want if the situation presented itself: my grandfather died and my cousin's ex-fiance showed up to the funeral (not the wake, just the funeral), and she came in to the private showing reserved only for the family, and she clung to his mother (my aunt,whose father had just died), and never acknowledged my cousin, but was there crying louder and more ostentatiously than any of us grandchildren cousin was really upset to see her, as she had broken his heart not too long before that, and my grandfather was like a father to him, so this day was VERY hard for him to begin while this girl may have been tight with my grandfather during their relationship, her presence was NOT appreciated by any of us that day...she really overstepped her boundaries so i would say, ask if they want you there, and then if you do decide to go, maybe slip in and sit at the back quietly...don't make a big production of being respectful
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
if I was close with their family I would definitely attend. Just because you're not together doesn't mean that you shouldn't show your respects.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
I would go, but I would ask first. I wouldn't want to stir up any issues. Some of my exes have GFs that don't want them to be in contact with any of their exes etc.
TidalWave TidalWave 9 years
My friend's grandfather died a few months ago and he was like a father to her. She asked her current boyfriend to go to the funeral but he had to work late (never even told his job about it) and missed it. However, her ex-boyfriend did make it to the funeral, because he knew just how close her relationship was. She dumped the current a few days later.
Shopaholichunny Shopaholichunny 9 years
I would go. Out of respect especially if I have been with that person for a long time.
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