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Would You Date Someone Going Through a Divorce?

A friend recently told me about a guy she met. He was just her type, but there was one hang-up — he was in the middle of getting a divorce.

People going through divorces might be technically available, but their emotional availability is a whole other question. Considering it takes a while to move on from a marriage, I would have serious concerns about dating someone in the middle of that. Then again, as my friend pointed out, the whole legal process could take a long time, and what harm could come from getting to know someone?

What would you do if you hit it off with someone who was permanently separated but still technically married? Would factors like who left whom, whether there are kids involved, or how long the marriage lasted impact your decision about whether to give the person a shot?

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Join The Conversation
trinitycc trinitycc 7 years
It depends. Most states require the couple to live apart for a year before it's final. By then, the couple has already checked out emotionally and have decided not to stay together. So I guess it depends on the situation.
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 7 years
I would but I wouldn't expect anything to come from it. I'd expect to have a bit of fun and leave it at that, if more comes from it then awesome!
RoaringSilence RoaringSilence 7 years
Absolutely not. I've had sex with people (not been in a relationship) who were in the middle of a divorce, and then ended up changing their mind. I felt terrible afterwards, and now don't trust anyone any more, unless everything is settled and an adequate amount of time has passed. I imagine it would be even worse for dating, who wants to be in a rebound relationship? I do think everyone getting a divorce should have the decency to wait until everything is done before they start dating again.
janneth janneth 7 years
Always better to avoid this. In theory.
Venus1 Venus1 7 years
By the time the actual divorce is going through things are often academic. The messy stuff comes at separation time and immediately after.
Jemma84 Jemma84 7 years
I tried this and it was a bad idea. Too much drama. Not recommended.
xgreenfairyx xgreenfairyx 7 years
Hell, I'd date'em if they were still married ;-)
roseate roseate 7 years
I'd say no, because he's still married. Given certain circumstances, I'd be willing to get to know him and possibly be open to a relationship after his divorce was finalized. I have a friend who started dating her current boyfriend while he was in the process of getting a divorce, and it has worked out well for them. He and his ex-wife had married young; they had been best friends, but that hadn't translated into a good marriage.
lauraxtc lauraxtc 7 years
probably not. they are dealing with a lot and I wouldn't want to be caught up in the middle of it.
monamiee monamiee 7 years
Everyone knows that you're not "supposed" to jump into any relationship without having given the time to think things over, rediscover oneself as the individual. But what always gets in the way? LIFE. As much as I don't think jumping into ANY relationship, let alone one with someone who's just begun a divorce is a good idea EVER, I know that it happens, and it's not to say that sometimes when it does happen, it turns out a success story.
danakscully64 danakscully64 7 years
No. I know every situation is different, but you shouldn't have to deal with the drama of a divorce. Let it get settled before you jump in, that's my theory. I know not every divorce is messy, but there is a lot to it. I know that I wouldn't want to be the "Rebound girl" for some guy either. If he's the right guy, you can both wait. It's also a respect thing for the persons ex. No matter how messy a divorce was, I would still be hurt if my soon to be ex husband started dating immediately.
Pistil Pistil 7 years
I wouldn't want to get involved... seems too soon, maybe messy. I'd rather wait until some time has passed after things are final.
Chrstne Chrstne 7 years
I would say no, regardless of the situations of the divorce. I think it's murky territory that I don't want to get myself into. There is also the fact that even though you are getting divorced, you're technically still married, and I'd also rather not mess with that either.
Advah Advah 7 years
I guess generally "no", but there's no blanket answer, really. People get married and get a divorce for various reasons. You can't generalise.
Kimpossible Kimpossible 7 years
I dated while I was going through my divorce. I didn't date anyone seriously during that time, but I did date. I too think it depends on the circumstances.
filmgirl81 filmgirl81 7 years
It depends on the circumstances. I encouraged my friend to date while he was in the process of divorce. It took a while for the divorce to be finalized for some reason, and he and his ex were estranged for a long time and divorced amicably.
Ac2366 Ac2366 7 years
I voted no. I wouldn't want to seriously date someone who was in the process of getting divorced or even someone that is newly divorced. I think people need time to get over a marriage ending. I once had a very short fling with a guy that was getting a divorce after being married for only a year. He talked about her more than I could stomach and it was obvious he was using other women as a means of getting over her.
totygoliguez totygoliguez 7 years
That depends, if he was recently divorce I don't think I would. If hes been separated for a while, I would.
sourcherry sourcherry 7 years
Probably not. But maybe I'd make an exception if it was a really long legal process and it had been a long time since he and his ex actually split.
starbucks2 starbucks2 7 years
The legal process usually takes a while. Here in Germany you usually have to live seperately for at least year before getting a divorce. So like glowingmoon said. There is no blank answer. It really depends on the circumstances.
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