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Would You Get Married Like This?

Yesterday Jessica Alba's rep confirmed that she and Cash Warren tired the knot in a Beverly Hills court house Monday morning. According to a source close to the couple, no one else attended their civil ceremony and after reading that, I couldn't help but think that was a little sad. Though I know getting married quietly and privately was their choice, I've always viewed marriage as a joyous occasion that's meant to be shared with loved ones, no matter how large or small of an event. I guess I'm still stuck on the fairy tale wedding that every little girl dreams about, but what about you? Would you want to get married alone in a similar way as Jess and Cash?


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summerjv summerjv 4 years
Yes, I would get married like that. I plan to get married similarly, actually. How a couple wants to be married is their choice; who are you to tell them they are wrong?
MissChita MissChita 9 years
A lot of people here make some good points about the whole wedding issue. Its funny because when I was a kid, I would say alot that I didnt want to be married, but that I wanted two kids and a nice house and I would be fine. As time went along and I grew up (I'm about to be 25) I thought that maybe marriage could happen. So, last year, I got engaged (I'm no longer w/ the guy now, but that's another story, LOL) and I was getting into the planning processes and thought to myself 'Damn, this is too much!' and then a friend of mine is getting married and was going to do the whole big wedding shabang and I said the same thing. And now, she is going to do the courthouse wedding and there is a lake nearby where her and her fiance can go and its only gonna cost $60 (plus the price of the marriage license). And I think that makes a lot more sense. The planning of a wedding, figuring all of the details out, spending money that you really dont have, and stressing about who will be there and who shouldnt be can cause a lot of unnecessary stress on the two important people involved - the husband and wife. So on that note, more power to Cash and Jessica. And if they didnt want their family there, that's ok, its their choice. Me personally, if and when I get married, like tomatoshirt, I just want a nice rock, and great loving husband who will love me til death due us part and and a stress free SMALL ceremy (it can be at a courthouse, I dont care!) LOL, :)
MissChita MissChita 9 years
Tomatoshirt, I'm SO with you on that!!!
MissChita MissChita 9 years
Good point oliveoyle625!
Melo-D Melo-D 9 years
I know a lot of women and men who want a small wedding or go to JOP and then have a big party or bbq either later that day or after they get back from the honeymoon. I personally want my family there and that right there is a ridiculous number of people which always has me thinking of how I can make the wedding smaller. Although, my church is huge so the challenge will be the reception. Luckily I have a long way to go since I'm not getting married anytime soon. To each his/her own.
cat1121 cat1121 9 years
Imagine being Jessica Alba. Unexpectedly pregnant and your every move being followed by photographers trying to make a buck off your life. She doesn't get to have the big white fairy tale wedding that some of us mortals dream of...hers is the security event of a lifetime. I could understand why she did it. I want mine to be small with just my closest friends and family and not many people can understand that.
Dolce-n-Gorgeous Dolce-n-Gorgeous 9 years
I'm planning on getting married without mentioning it to anyone. It's just that I've never dreamt of having the huge fairytale wedding. And I don't see the need of having anybody but your husband at your wedding. Not to mention the tons of money you'd save.
Meike Meike 9 years
I did it this way and it was not sad. Get over your ridiculous stereotypes. Many of those celeb 'fairytale' weddings are false, pretentious, and result in divorce a couple of years down the road anyway. In my civil ceremony particularly, we had no close friends and family present. It was planned this way and it easily was the happiest day of our lives. As looseseal posted our understated wedding was not a show of expensive dresses, flowers, dinner, etc. It was more about the expression of love solely between the two people. This is something my mom, whom I'm very close to, really appreciates about my husband and I. We will have a ceremonial wedding one or two years in Europe for close friends and family later. I get that the impression of civil ceremonies are the typical stereotype that the medias make it out to be. A shotgun wedding for those who are not as serious about the commitment. In reality, these simple ceremonies/marriages have about as much chance of surviving as those elaborate ceremonies/marriages if not more.
I would absolutely get married without mentioning it to anyone! Heck, I should've gotten married 1 1/2 years ago while I was in Vegas. It's a good way to avoid having to listen to everyone's suggestions for what your wedding and marriage should be like. To me, it's like this: your relationship is a private matter between you and your man, why should your wedding be big and public? I've always wanted to fly to Hawaii and get married, no family, no friends, just me and him. It definately takes away the the idea that some women get married for the wedding...
DANTE214 DANTE214 9 years
emalove emalove 9 years
Not what I would personally choose, but I think weddings should be individual and what the couple chooses. If you want a big wedding, go for it...if you want to elope or have a private ceremony, so be it.
Kristinh1012 Kristinh1012 9 years
Jillerin, please do not ever be so rude and inconsiderate and tell someone they couldn't be bothered with something regarding their child and getting married doesn't make a childs life easier. I think if my 8 year old daughter ever heard someone say that about me and her father, she would quickly correct you and put you in your place. and I would smile and pat her on the back.
Bookish Bookish 9 years
I hate the term "bastard child". I'M a bastard child, and I like to think I turned out just fine! I don't think it was sad for them to do it by themselves- we got married like this, and for us, it was like we were breaking away from our families to create a new family. I didn't want to be given away, we didn't want to do vows- we just wanted to be married without all the drama and production involved in a wedding. And we did, and it was lovely.
aimeeb aimeeb 9 years
I have to say when I heard this I thought the same thing, bastard child. As far as this type of wedding, to each their own I guess. I don't have plans on a big wedding, I don't see the point. To me what's most important is celebrating your love to one another and that shouldn't cost thousands and thousands of dollars. I can find much better things to do with that money, like build our future together buying a house. I plan on doing it beach side with very close friends and family.
LadyP LadyP 9 years
My husband and I got married with a few of our friends family. They didn't support us at the time (atleast the thought of marriage and they sure as hell wouldn't have been happy to know we were actually getting married when we did) so we got married and told them later. Yeah, they were mad but they understand and they love him to pieces now.
Lambsauce Lambsauce 9 years
I do think it is a little bit sad, but that's just because I can't imagine getting married without even your closest family there. I'm a fan of simpler ceremonies, myself... the way I see it, the more elaborate you get, the higher the chance that something is going to go wrong :)
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
Ohh! Wow, I totally went off on a tangent. My boyfriend's parents got married in Vegas with no one in attendance, and he wants the same thing, just to save money and the hassle of rounding everyone up for a couple of days. Since we're not getting married anytime soon, I'm not losing sleep over it, but...I'm not sure what I'll end up doing. I do want a beautiful wedding, but I would rather contribute to a down payment on a house...
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
As soon as I read about this, I knew Jessica Alba just wanted to make sure she was wed when her baby arrived NEXT MONTH. I'm sure they'll have a lavish event as soon as she no longer has baby fat. After all, she's admitted she doesn't want to be fat like her mom. Also, DUH, getting pregnant was an obvious attempt to trap Cash. She broke up with him a few weeks before she announced her pregnancy because he wasn't willing to commit, and now, they're back together. All of a sudden, this commitment-phobe (Cash) even proposed, and they had a shotgun wedding. It seems a wee wit too manipulated and contrived...Just saying!
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
only sad if she didn't want to do it this way. she doesn't come off as the type that does anything she doesn't want to though. and they got to have it in private and the photogs got nothing so that was probably very satisfying to her. and yes i'd do it. it's actually what i wanted to do. it was my dh and my mother that wanted the whole big wedding thing.
ufshutterbabe ufshutterbabe 9 years
One more for the "no wedding production needed" camp. Although I was more moved by saying and hearing our vows out loud (at our elopement site) than I thought I would be, I feel like a big wedding ceremony is unnecessary. The vows are between the couple - I don't believe in that "marriage is for the community" vibe I often get at church weddings. I would have felt completely ridiculous saying our vows for an audience.
javsmav javsmav 9 years
javsmav javsmav 9 years
OK, now that I've calmed down a bit... There is a happy medium, Jillerin, and that's what I would do if I got married (I would still prefer eloping to even a small ceremony, but I will compromise). I just want a party. No ceremony, no aisle walking, no gifts. Just my friends, family, delicious vegan food (if my boyfriend won't agree to eloping, then he can compromise by having a vegan wedding), wine, & dancing. I think my biggest thing with weddings is that I grew up in a very conservative Christian family and there are just so many sexist elements to a wedding that I could never participate in it. I know others don't see it that way and that's great for them, but I just can't do it. I'm also a very private person (that's why I'm telling you personal info on the internet...ha ha) and I just cannot imagine saying vows in front of people. I also think that big weddings can take away from what's really important--the marriage. While I don't think it's wrong to celebrate a marriage, I don't like how focused our society is on getting married (not staying married, just getting married). Any 2 fools can get married, I just don't see why we have to get so worked up about it. That's like a million thoughts in one paragraph, but there you have.
jillerin457 jillerin457 9 years
Lil Maw: I don't know about the others, but I used the term "bastard" kind of tongue-in-cheek. It doesn't come across that way in print, though, it seems. It's not the child's fault his/her parents couldn't be bothered to do things in a way that would make its life easier. hotstuff: now that you mention it, I could definitely see Jessica getting pregnant for that reason, given the timeline. But it seems like she's regretting it now that the reality of pregnancy is hitting her in the face! To those who said they would rather get married the way Jessica and Cash did instead of a huge ceremony, isn't there a happy medium? You don't have to book an expensive venue and buy a ridiculous dress to make it a special day. I guess for some people, just them and the officiant are all they need, but I would think that for the majority, it would be nice to have at least a few important people there, too, and maybe some kind of celebration. Not necessarily expensive, but something to mark the occasion.
Lil-Maw Lil-Maw 9 years
I really think that it's awful to make so many assumptions about this poor girl's life. I also hate the term "bastard child"...however fitting or accurate someone might think it is I think it's an awful label for a baby and very outdated. How do we know whether or not they just didn't decide on a whim that they'd like a nice little private ceremony...and there's nothing wrong with that.
Meg1010 Meg1010 9 years
I would definitely opt for this, but probably still throw some kind of after-party to celebrate with a few close family and friends.
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