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Would You Be a Surrogate Mother?

You love your best friend. You support her like a sister and you'd do anything for her. My question is, how far would you be willing to go?

Let's say that she and her husband had been trying to get pregnant for the last 5 years. She's tried everything in the book and you've been there for her through several miscarriages. It turns out that she has no problem getting pregnant, but she can't stay pregnant.

You have two beautiful children of your own and you had no problems conceiving. Knowing this, your BFF asks you for the greatest favor in the world. They would like you to be a surrogate mother for their baby. They'd use her egg and his sperm so the baby would be their own flesh and blood. You would be able to give them the greatest gift anyone could give. Since witnessing the pain and trauma your friend has already gone through, would you do it? Would you be her surrogate mother?


Join The Conversation
bbqueen152001 bbqueen152001 8 years
I would totally love to be a surrogate. In fact, my best friend just got out of a really bad relationship, one which caused her to miscarry then she had to have a hystorectomy. We are very close and I want to give her a baby. We did joke around when we were teenagers about being the perfect parents for a child, but now we are finally serious. I of course, want to give her a child. The problem is, everywhere I look on surrogating, I see that you have to have a child of your own first but I have none. We have talked it through and have decided on a written agreement and me going through a psychological evaluation as well as me being the godmother. We have come up with alot, except on how it works and how to do it. She doesn't have a lot of money and can't afford the doctor bills and stuff like that, and niether can I. Is there somewhere we can go for help?
mrskrismendoza mrskrismendoza 9 years
I don't know. Honestly, I just don't know.
mrspiven mrspiven 9 years
i know i couldn't do it. but i really admire anyone who is willing to do it, and can handle it.
sofi sofi 9 years
This morning I just read that a woman 51 years old carried her daughter's twins for her as a surrogate. That would be my only exception is if (God forbid) my daughter couldn't carry her own and asked me to do this for her. I would do anything for my children and grandchildren in this case. I don't think I could do it for anyone else though.
nikkie45 nikkie45 9 years
i want to say yes, but as of right now i dont know.
reese05 reese05 9 years
I don't think I am emotionally ready for this yet.
SeaAre86 SeaAre86 9 years
I can go ahead and say no. I'm with Greggie. It's not consistent in my personal beliefs. Lots of people brought up very good points. Sometimes, I wonder if people put too much emphasis on having their OWN child instead of seeking other options. If I couldn't have kids (and I wanted them), I would probably adopt.
mirawilliams mirawilliams 9 years
I just don't know, but honestly, probably not.
Michelann Michelann 9 years
I'm amazed so many people said they would do it. Somehow, I don't believe it. I know I wouldn't do it. If a couple is really having that much trouble getting pregnant, I think they should look into adoption. There are so many children who need homes, it seems strange to go to extreme lengths to make sure it's your "own" child.
PJ-PJ-PJ PJ-PJ-PJ 9 years
Well, having trouble getting pregnant myself, I just don't know if I could even ask for that. It's such a risky thing. You have to think about any complications that the surrogate mother may have. You just never know what might happen. Not all pregnancies run smoothly & I wouldn't feel right asking someone to take a chance on their health. I would like to say that I would do it for my best friend. It would be such a blessing to be able to help someone like that. I think that I would need at least one child of my own, first. That being said, we decided from the very beginning that we could never go the surrogacy route for ourselves. We would just rather adopt. I've always felt that family is not a "blood" issue & it is who raises you, cares for you, & loves you that makes a person's parent(s). Luckily, my husband feels the same. Not being able to get pregnant brings that point home even more. If we aren't able to conceive within the next two years, we are going to adopt.
tamberly tamberly 9 years
I would only do it for a very close friend and if I was in a spot in my life at which I could handle being pregnant and whatnot.
Lizzle Lizzle 9 years
I'm with Masqueraded_Angel. There are already lots of kids out there who need families, and I'm not so much a fan of going to such extreme measures to have a child. I don't have any kids myself but that's just how I feel about it now.
wynter wynter 9 years
No. I have two absolutely beautiful sons, but all 3 of my babies had complications at birth. I wouldn't want to put ANYONE through what we went through ith them so I'd be afraid to chance it for someone I cared about. I've had 3 c-sections too so I probably shouldn't have any more. :) If it wasn't for those reasons, I would for someone close to me.
MamaD MamaD 9 years
I was prepared to do this for my sister. I already had a child of my own and was divorced. My sister was diagnosed with diabetes and told to never get pregnant. She wasn't diagnosed until after her wedding and thought the situation was hopeless. I volunteered to do it for her! But when it came down to it, she was already pregnant! It was a high risk pregnancy since she's such an unstable diabetic, but she was able to go full term and had a healthy baby girl. Since it was such a big risk, her husband had a vasectomy shortly there after. She still considers herself lucky to this day!!! And she was!!!!
demeter demeter 9 years
No I could never do that. I would get way too attached to the baby eventhough I knew it wouldn't be mine and I could never move anywhere else because I'd always want to see the child. So never.
Casimira Casimira 9 years
I'm with Greggie--not consistent with my beliefs.
I don't think so. I have a hard enough time thinking about being pregnant with my own child, not to mention one I give away at the end.
puddlesplasher puddlesplasher 9 years
Absolutely. I would, without hesitation, do this for my best friend. Now, I'm not saying that I would do it for just anyone, but, given the story set forth here, I would do it in a heartbeat. I have actually had four rather "easy" pregnancies which I truly enjoyed. Knowing that carrying her baby for her would bring her so much joy, I don't think that I would have any trouble agreeing to do it. Knowing that biologically, the baby is that of my best friend and her husband would not create any problem of having to "give up" the baby. I would not consider it "mine". I would consider it mine to watch over and take care of and nurture safely inside me until it could safely join its parents.
toxicbeautyyyy toxicbeautyyyy 9 years
I think that would be the best gift you could give her. I would do it in a heart beat. if you could give someone a baby.. why not do it. It would make you feel so good about yourself once it was over.. and it would make them both very happy.
Kazagirl Kazagirl 9 years
No. I am not sure I would be able to. I want kids of my own and I am already freaking out about childbirth, so I truthfully don't think I could do it for anyone else.
lms lms 9 years
I would not do it and my friends/family know me well enough that they wouldn't ask me. I already have a daughter and know what to expect. I also would not have had a surrogate if I couldn't carry a child. It is too wierd for me.
tati33 tati33 9 years
I'm with juliemyjewel
Masqueraded_Angel Masqueraded_Angel 9 years
I would not. Call me horrible, but I think that if someone can not have a baby on their own, then we shouldn't try to fool nature by complicating things. If I was never able to conceive (I have a 4 year old, though) I would look into adoption instead.
sofi sofi 9 years
No, I don't think I could. Too hard to imagine giving up a child- yes, they aren't mine, but I grew them inside me for 9 months. In my opinion, it would feel like I was giving up a part of myself regardless of biology. I applaud women who can do it, but I imagine that it has been difficult for women to give children up after the birth- IMO.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 9 years
I would.
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