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Would Your Family Care if You Dated Someone of a Different Race?

To me, if a guy is hot, he's hot, and his skin color has nothing to do with it. I'm attracted to all kinds of guys, and although looks are what first draw me to a person, it's personality that gets me to stick around.

Not everyone shares my openness. I remember in high school, I was seeing an African American guy, and my mom almost freaked out. The fact that he was black wasn't really the issue, but rather that she wanted me to date a nice Jewish boy. But soon she got over it, realizing that it didn't matter who I dated as long as I was happy. So what about you?


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shauna16 shauna16 9 years
No, i dont think my family would have a problem with it at all. my brother had a Son by a white women, we dont look at my nephew any different then if he was full black. its sad to me that some people would get mad to see their children date outside of their race. Color should not matter. to me its all a matter of how you treat one another,are you happy with them? the last thing you should be worried about is color.
mlen mlen 9 years
my family wouldn't care. i do have some uncles or cousins that on occasion make racist jokes- not at anyone specifically- so just in general. so i'd be wary one might make one at the wrong time lol but overall my family is very accepting of anyone that would treat me well. my one cousin is gay and my whole family was very accepting as that as well. i've never actually dated someone a different race- just religion- but it wouldn't matter. and as sugar said- hot is hot, no matter what color!
gossipqueen gossipqueen 9 years
My husban is mom thought we would have problems cause of the language barrier and religion...untill she found out he speaks perfect english and is LOVES him...they're very alike and he's just a sweetie! My uncle is a bit of a racist...having black friends is ok...but not dating them or marriying them...he got a kick in the butt tho...when his daughter ran off to live with a black guy...and his son got a black girl pregnant....the families act polite to each other...but I don't think he's really over it....shame...
JessBear JessBear 9 years
It's funny, because when I started contemplating this question, I thought I'd never been in an interracial relationship before, but then I realized I'm in one right now, because my boyfriend is half Iranian! I just don't usually think of it that way. For my parents, it's not a concern at all. For my grandparents, though, it's a different story. My grandpa actually tried to call my boyfriend "Ned", because he didn't like the "foreign" sound of his given name. And I HATE having to remind them that he was born in Houston, TX, and I HATE that they can push me to a place where I think his birthplace makes a difference. In the end, though, they're mostly just ignorant, and anyway, any ill will they may have towards his heritage is LARGELY overshadowed by the ill will they have towards our "living in sin." :-)
avocado_seed avocado_seed 9 years
I think my family would care a bit, but they would accept it eventually, or they would have to.. I'm Chinese Canadian, and I'm dating a half-white, half-Japanese guy, who doesn't really look Asian in the least bit.. I think it would be a matter of comfort for my family.. They would just feel more comfortable with a Chinese guy, but I've rarely ever been attracted to them.. I love seeing inter-racial couples, and yes.. mixed kids are really pretty..
mrskrismendoza mrskrismendoza 9 years
My parents wouldn't care. I have crushed on tons of different guys who were a different race from mine. In Hawaii it's pretty acceptable.
punjabibyotch punjabibyotch 9 years
I'm Indian, and my mom's been telling me since i was like 13 that i can only marry a Indian (Punjabi) Hindu guy from the same caste that i am, and no way in hell can he be dark skinned or short. My bf doesnt meet any of those expectations but i have EVERY intention of marrying him
chicaparati17 chicaparati17 9 years
Remedios, thanks for answering. I understand a little more what you were trying to say earlier. I just thought that you all were oblivious to the situation with all Latinos/Hispanics right now. But what you are saying now makes sense its not that he is out of touch, I am gathering that he himself has not been subjected to racism/as my husband has been. Interestingly enough my husband's skin is white as most Caucasian but his discrimination came with his heavy accent! (although I constantly remind him and others he speaks 2 languages fluently...not many people in the U.S can say that). Well thanks for sharing and if you ever want to exchange stories send me a message. P.S. I agree its VERY IMPORTANT for modern day Hispancis/Latinos to speak Spanish...its a part of their heritage!
remedios remedios 9 years
final part - Yes, my husband speaks Spanish, and while he was born here (Miami) his parents were born and raised in Cuba. He got upset once when someone said you don't need to speak Spanish to be part of the Hispanic community because he said you couldn't survive in the Cuban community in Miami without speaking Spanish. He sees language as integral to the heritage. Since he was born here, he also speaks English (obviously) and has no Cuban accent. And also what I'm reflecting is not what he sees/thinks/believes/feels. But yes, we're both well aware of the "plight of the Hispanic" folks that are in the United States. I'm not sure if that helped clarify. If you have more questions, I'd be happy to answer.
remedios remedios 9 years
cont... As to current prejudices - I'm not saying that Hispanic folks don't experience it. The comment about my parents is just my guess that they see my husband as "closer to them" and less likely to experience prejudices. I guess they don't see him as part of the group of people subject to this prejudice. And what they think isn't what I or my husband think - I'm just trying to understand how they come to the conclusions they do. I would guess it's probably somewhat based in what I thought as a child. Interestingly, my dad participates regularly in the Mexican-Irish Festival that takes place in their town. I'm not sure what that means exactly, but thought it fit with our discussion.
remedios remedios 9 years
chicaparati17 - this is going to be long, so I'm breaking it up. Sorry for being so long, but I've never been good at being succinct. I mentioned how I viewed Hispanic people, as essentially white people who can tan well. What I meant here was that when I was growing up, I was well aware of the Irish culture since my mom's from Ireland, and in my school, there were others from various cultures, so I just saw my classmates as of German descent, Italian, English, Polish, Mexican, Cuban, etc. I didn't realize that people separated out the Mexican/Cuban from the English/Polish/etc. as a whole different category. I just viewed them part of the same meta-category I was in and their family came from Mexico just like mine came from Ireland. Just like Mexican food/music/dance are different than what I knew of Irish food/music/dance, so was Polish food/music/dance different. I didn't see "white" and "hispanic" - I saw Irish, Polish, Mexican, etc. I was definitely not aware of prejudices towards Hispanic people, as a group, as a child and if someone had conveyed it to me, I would have been extremely confused.
Drui Drui 9 years
I have never dated or married someone with a different skin color. I am just not attracted to anything but the white boys but I have never had a problem with race or skin color. I have had a lot of friends from different races and to me, they are just like everyone else. I hate racism, I can not stand that. Who is to say, just because someone has a different skin color or a different race, they aren't just as important as everyone else. We all bleed the same color, we are have similar feelings, we all have emotions, everyone is the same on the inside. I am a native woman and have been subjected to racism. And I hated the way it makes me feel, it makes my blood boil and there is no way that I would ever subject someone to that.
Dollylo Dollylo 9 years
I've been in this situation few times and my family is totally cool with that! ;)
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
i'm like sweet as sugar, i've always dated white, or latin men. my mother's side of the family is ok with it. and my father's side kinda gave me flack when they found out ( i didn't grow up with them, so i didn't get to know them until my late teens). they are from the south, so they kinda tried to give me reasons why white men are bad. but after awhile, they were ok with it (i never showed that i cared what they think). you can't change who you attracted to. point, blank. Period. next topic.
Vexedlovely Vexedlovely 9 years
As long as he loves God and me, my parents could care less!
geekygirl geekygirl 9 years
i think my family would be totally fine with it, they are more interested in whether or not the guy is nice! however, my boyfriend's parents are another matter. i'm yet to meet them (live across the country) but one of the first questions they asked when he told them about us was if i was aboriginal (black australian). i'm pretty sure i would not be so welcomed into their family if i was. however, i can see where these stereotypes might come from as i live in a community with a lot of aboriginal people and a large proportion of them are not the type of people i'd date, but that has more to do with their up-bringing than their colour. but i would like to think that if i was aboriginal, i would be able to demonstrate by my actions, not my colour, that i was worthy of their son.
theboyslover theboyslover 9 years
well i'm black + i've never dated outside my race. however my family would be totally cool with it because we already have white people married into our family (one of them being one of my favorite aunts) so it would be so normal for us. I can say that right now I am crushing on a guy thats half hispanic/white lol. I've noticed that black families are more tolerant when it comes to interracial relationships versus white families. Pretty soon this world will be an array of mixtures and we'll all be ONE race so it really shouldn't matter.
ginghamgirl ginghamgirl 9 years
i'm asian and my fiance is caucasian. everyone seems to be cool with it except for my grandmother. ugh.
mirawilliams mirawilliams 9 years
My entire extended family and I are mixed race so it's a non-issue with us.
chicaparati17 chicaparati17 9 years
REMEDIOS And for the record...MY HUSBAND IS PUERTO RICAN and HISPANICS ARE DIFFERENT THAN WHITES...totally different culture (food, music, dance, clothes, family values) nothing wrong with this just that there is a difference.
chicaparati17 chicaparati17 9 years
REMEDIOS.....But I guess they don't see prejudice happening toward Cubans because they've never expressed anything like that toward my husband. It's just based on something my mom said about me dating a black man, well about how my dad would view. I dont understand this....Cubans...hmmm are HISPANICS right? So when prejudice happens to other Hispanics why doesnt it affect them? Do you know who CELIA CRUZ is? She was CUBAN...darker than the average black American? So what world do you live in? Does your husband not speak Spanish at all??? We know how some people feel about hearing another language in the "good ole U.S.A" so is your husband completely oblivious to the plight of the HISPANIC in the U.S.A right now? Please enlighten me
indielove indielove 9 years
princess-eab: I believe what you say about Southern people and how racist they are. Makes you think though because if they think mixed children are ugly, what do they think of black children? I could only imagine the things they say then! I remember when I was dating this guy from NC, his mother once had a conversation with my mom about us having kids someday and how worried she would be about the child because when he/she goes to school, they would be an outcast. I'm sure that kind of thing would happen over there but I think she was a little more concerned about how her friends and family would feel about her having a grandchild of mixed descent. Her and I always got along and she really did like me, was upset when we broke up, but I'm sure she preferred her son to be with someone of their own race(white). Well, he ended up marrying another black woman and they should be having their baby anytime now so, I wonder how she feels about that, if she's REALLY come to terms with it.
sugarsister sugarsister 9 years
since i've been in a mixed race relationship, it has caused a disturbing amount of strife between my father and me. the fact that i was raised to respect all colors equally made my father's feelings all the more troubling. in regards to this, he's not the man i believed him to be and that is a sad realization. but i've seen my parents overcome other prejudices before and welcome their daughters' choices of mate into their home after a given amount of time has passed. to their credit, i don't recall them ever making anyone feel uncomfortable because of who they are so i hope my father will come around this time as well. for my part, i have no plans on changing who i'm because of how he feels.
socialitebabe socialitebabe 9 years
As a mixed girl I don't care but I prefer White guys over black guys. I just wanna be like Halle Berry! lol. Its a shame though, most white won't even talk to a black girl over white girl or asian girl. It always makes me wonder why.
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