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You 101: Can You Spot an "Emotionally Unavailable Man"?

You 101: Can You Spot an "Emotionally Unavailable Man"?

Do you keep dating the same kind of guy? He's not too nice and he's not plain bad, but he is very, very confusing? Any part of this list sound familiar?

He’s very reliant on text messages, IM’ing and email for the majority of his contact

They’re ambiguous about the status of the relationship

You’re not sure when you’ll hear from the next, even though you’ve been dating them for a while

You think you’re in a relationship, but it’s closer to a booty call

He says stuff like ‘If only the timing was different, you’d be the perfect girlfriend’;’If only things were different I’d definitely marry you’

When you try to tackle the status of your relationship or any issues, he either tells you what you want to hear and then returns to his normal behaviour or he just skirts the issue. One way or the other, you wind up back at square one.

Click here to

Then I recommend you hoof it over to The Mr. Unavailable Guide for more signs and a whole lot more information about why you keep bumping into him. It's a smart and refreshing and witty blog 'for women that want to be available to the right guys' written by a woman that figured it out the hard way.

As ever, let me know what you think of it!




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BeachyAthlete BeachyAthlete 10 years
Thanks Valeri -- reading your comments about what it's like to be with an AVAILABLE made me feel very secure and loved in my relationship :-)
DearSugar DearSugar 10 years
that's perfect and perfectly brilliant, valeri. thank you!
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
emotionally available: he doesn't say good bye with out asking when he can see you again. he uses "future talk" and you are included in it. you have his home phone (note, different from cell phone). he tells you about his day and asks about yours; you can tell he's listening because he adds a "i hate when that happens" story that relates to your day! you know where he lives, not a general idea, you have the physical address. he doesn't cancel on you; EVER. he doesn't take a call waiting call when the 2 of you are talking; EVER. when he calls you are happy, but not relieved. when you are with him you feel special and have his full attention. he doesn't comment on other women when you are with him or check them out. he's there for you on a date and you can tell :)
onlybrowncarbs onlybrowncarbs 10 years
Holy crap, I just posted about this a day or two ago on grouptherapy about a guy I'd just been on a few dates with. It also fits at least 2 of my other exes and many other guys I was with! So now the next question...how to tell a good AVAILABLE guy?
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
i've been married 10 years, but i seemed to date lots of men who were a little too open and emotionally available. it creeped me out. i don't want to know to much too soon, how the last girl hurt you (i assume there were issues; it's over!), i cringed at baby talk and having the guitar played for me. write me a song and i will run, move far away and leave no forwarding address. Ahhhhh!
muchacha muchacha 10 years
well i wished i read this before i wasted two months on mr. unavailable! Thanks for posting ~~ live and learn!
Bonne Bonne 10 years
Currently, that almost describes me. Right now, I'm just dating to have fun, food and conversation - I'm really not looking into anything long term. The guys I've been dating however want long term after a few dates, so I'm just hanging out in emotionally unavailible land now.
ccsugar ccsugar 10 years
Oh. My. God. This just described EVERY relationship I've been in.
andaman andaman 10 years
Aha this is a very very good question. It's like sex and the city question. No I can not spot them usually which is why before I got married I had quite a few failed relationships. I think many men are insecure and most men are interested in sex and not much else. It's quite hard to find a stable man. I feel very lucky I found one.
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