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You Asked: Am I a Lesbian?

Dear Sugar,

I found myself, one late night surfing the Web and I came across a lesbian porn site and I loved it. It really turned me on watching the females enjoying each other. Truth be told I found myself touching myself. Now I can't wait until I'm home alone or when everyone is sleep so I can search for other sites to watch. I have yet to experience a woman kissing or touching me, but I think I want see how it feels. So does that mean I’m a lesbian?

—Questioning Kim


To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Questioning Kim —

It's great that you're getting in touch with your true feelings, and it must be a true revelation to figure out what really turns you on, but I'm wondering if you are turned on by men, too. If you're not, then I'd say that you are in fact into girls, but there's only one way to find out. Since you're wanting to see what it's like to be sexual with a woman, I think you should go for it. Only then, once you're in the situation, will you know if being with a women feels right for you. Give it some time and patience because as with anything new, you may feel a little nervous and unsure.

While it's important to be open and have fun while experimenting sexually, remember that STIs can be passed between any partner (male or female), so be sure you both get tested before getting busy. Sorry if I sound like your high school sex-ed teacher, but you've got to do all you can to keep yourself safe and healthy.


feelthesun feelthesun 9 years
You can experiment with a woman and even enjoy it, but find that men are more your thing. Sexuality is very fluid and changes often.
Ikandy Ikandy 9 years
Lizzle Lizzle 9 years
I agree with JessNess. I'm straight and I don't watch a lot of porn, but if I do I usually like girl-on-girl, or even guy-on-guy. Guys in gay porn are way hotter than the straight ones! And if you're curious about being with a girl, go for it! There's nothing stopping you. Don't worry so much about labeling yourself or your feelings as gay, straight, bi, or whatever. Just do what feels right.
JessNess JessNess 9 years
Just because you are turned on by girl on girl porn does not make you a lesbian. Think about it, girl on girl porn is geared towards what women like so it would be easier to be turned on because its easier to imagine and place yourself in the action. Guy on girl porn is geared towards men and what they like mainly.
organicgirl organicgirl 9 years
Like ThePerfectScore said, sexuality is a continuum. Yes, you may be lesbian but you may just as well be anywhere in between. I'm still figuring out where I am on the continuum so I definitely think it is okay to question your sexuality. Good luck!
designergirl designergirl 9 years
It doesn't necessary mean you're a lesbian. I'm turned on by a lot of different things, but I know for sure I don't want to act on most of them.
getstinko getstinko 9 years
This is such a hot topic, it's crazy. Go for it!!!
ThePerfectScore ThePerfectScore 9 years
Like Alfred Kinsley said.... Sexuality is on a continuum... few people are totally hetero or totally gay..... I love lesbian porn, but I am not so keen on actually having a sexual relationship with a female....There is nothing wrong with exploring sexuality and if no on gets hurts its always a positive thing.....
alltherage alltherage 9 years
i thnk dear sugar is right you gotta just try it. i mean im straight as an arrow but i think girl on girl action can be hot.
sparklestar sparklestar 9 years
There was a study conducted about the sexual habits of women. Women are more likely to sleep with anything because it is about the connection they have with the other person as opposed to gender. Lesbian porn is paid the LEAST in the industry.. around £300 ($600) a scene for just this reason! =) Though for me I knew I was bisexual when I realised that lesbian porn did it more for me than boy-girl or anything else. =P What does it matter? If you would feel comfortable sticking your face in another ladies vagina then you're probably at least bisexual! To quote Californication though.. "getting a woman off is so complicated! there are all kinds of gears and switches!" ;)
AujahAcorn AujahAcorn 9 years
yeah i dont like how rough men are in porn. they make it look so uncomfy.
TheMissus TheMissus 9 years
It doesn't mean you're a lesbian. It means you're normal. Lots of girls find two girls doing "stuff" exciting. I think how you figure out if you are a lesbian or not is by asking yourself, "Am I attraced to any women in my everyday life?" If you are, and you fantasize about them, then maybe you are. I think lesbian porn is fun to watch, but I personally have never been attracted to a girl in my everyday life. So for me, it's mostly just fantasy stuff...
kiwitwist kiwitwist 9 years
I agree with most above... I find most females prefer lesbian porn because guys are just nasty and very rough in porn. If you aren't into that then you wont be turned on by the 'normal' porn. If you have the opportunity to be with a girl, go for it. But I wouldn't think too deeply about the situation. I am sure it is just a vidual thing
citizenkane citizenkane 9 years
Haven't we already gone over this question enough times?
mcreverie mcreverie 9 years
i'm definitely straight (i've completely frenched a really attractive girl before and just the memory of it grosses me out) but i get so aroused when i see girls in porn. you could be straight, a lesbian, or bi...but just because you like girls in porn doesn't really signify anything. it just means you're comfortable with your sexuality and that's always a good thing!
kendalheart kendalheart 9 years
I don't think it means your gay but it could mean it. I think though that most people who are gay don't just think of it one day, it's with them their entire life. I like girl on girl porn as well and have also had an experience with a woman and it was not for me. Does this make me gay or even bi? Nope, sometimes people in my opinion are too caught up in LABELS...i find it rather annoying but if you need to figure it out, go for it!
lemassabielle lemassabielle 9 years
Please don't listen to ignorance. If you enjoy men along with women it just means you're bi-sexual. I discovered I was bi-sexual when I was 11 years old because women turned me on almost as much as men. If you find yourself only being turned on by women there is a possibility you're lesbian and there ain't nothing wrong with that! I have a boyfriend but sometimes miss the sensitivity of a women.
laneylaney laneylaney 9 years
I am much more aroused by girl on girl porn as well. It's the fantasy of it that might be making you feel that way. But if the idea of being with girl sounds appealing I say give it a whirl!
diazy diazy 9 years
I am married with two children and love girl on girl porn ,actually its the only porn i'll ever watch (my husband likes that fact as well)my question is do you still find men attractive? i was freaked out when i realized my sexual attraction to women but i find men attractive as well just not to watch. remember you could be bisexual ? thats an option but i agree try it first and see how it is :)
karlotta karlotta 9 years
I once got turned on (REALLY TURNED ON!) when accidentally finding myself on a beastiality website. Does it mean I want to go and do it with a donkey? No. (does it mean I'm creepy? Yes, probably.)
princess_eab princess_eab 9 years
You're not necessarily a lesbian. Lots of women are turned on by sexual images of women because in our visual culture, women are the center of sexual imagery. We are trained to find other women sexy because our entire culture is! I agree with the poster above-- if you are not into going down on other women, or the idea doesn't excite you, you probably aren't gay. But it really all depends on where you want to go with the feelings you have. If you would be truly unhappy being with a man after trying to be with a woman in real life, then that is obviously something to consider. But honestly, most of porn is sexy women getting off and we are supposed to enjoy that at the same time as men do-- how are we not supposed to react in a way that mimics them?
pinkflats pinkflats 9 years
"If you want your face in a chick's crotch, you are a lesbian. If you don't, you aren't." can i have that inside a hallmark card, please?
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
I think girl on girl porn is a turn on. And I'm definitely straight. But maybe you aren't? I think you'll only find out if you are presented with the opportunity. This girl in high school basically propositioned me and I was totally repulsed by the idea of having sex with her. I guess that experience told me this: If you want your face in a chick's crotch, you are a lesbian. If you don't, you aren't. All the other little things, like making out with your friends in bars and watching girl on girl porn, that's just experimentation and fooling around. It's not a sexual identity. Just my 2 cents.
martinique1 martinique1 9 years
It happens to me too, but I've been in that situation with another girl and I was just freaked out. I can definetly say I prefer men, but you should try it both ways first so you know what you like. Just keep your options open, you know?
bbvFAN112 bbvFAN112 9 years
yes....sorry but that does sound gay.....but its really up to u what u want..
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