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You Asked: Can I Re-Use an Engagement Ring?

Dear Sugar--

I had bought an expensive engagement ring 3 years ago which I now possess again since we did not proceed with the actual marriage. Can I present it to my new girlfriend or do I need to buy a new one? If I do propose to her with the old ring, how will she take it if she finds out? I don't want to lie if she asks me so what can I say so that she will understand if she does find out? She knows I was previously engaged, but she doesn't know anything about the ring. I have managed to restore it and it now looks like new with new packaging. I don't want to do anything that I will regret in the future so any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated. -- Clueless Calob

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Clueless Calob--

In a nutshell, NO, no you should not propose to your girlfriend with a "used ring," and why would you want to, it sounds like that ring didn't bring you good luck the first time around! Although you never married the woman you originally gave the ring to, it technically "belongs" to someone else. If you are already essentially feeling guilty for thinking about re-gifting the engagement ring, your girlfriend is bound to find out, and if she is like any other red blooded woman, she's going to be upset and quite possibly furious.

The good news is that your old ring doesn't have to go to waste per se. Diamonds can be traded in for another stone and using the money from the other ring towards a new one for your current girlfriend is totally acceptable, so I highly recommend you finding a jeweler or diamond broker you trust and going that route. Although your engagement isn't going to be all about the ring, I am sure your girlfriend is going to want you to present her with something that is special and unique to YOUR relationship, not with something that was purchased with another woman in mind. I hope I was of some help to you, and good luck!


Join The Conversation
jd328 jd328 5 years
Giving a woman a used ring is beyond tacky & low class. She deserves her own ring.  My ex did this just recently.  He's such a LOSER! I wish I had listened to my mother (Oh, did I really just say that out loud)?
JustMe21 JustMe21 10 years
I agree with DearSugar. I would be so hurt if I found out my husband did that.
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 10 years
"Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer and wish you didn't." -Erica Jong You already know there's something not quite right with repackaging an engagement ring... you don't need us to tell you. Take Dear's advice and have the diamond exchanged.
calibabi calibabi 10 years
i agree with dear. i would say either cash in the ring for some money and buy a new one...or you can even just use the diamonds and put them in a completely different setting. the diamonds are the most expensive part of the ring in the first place, so just get a new setting that is catered to your new woman.
pk9000 pk9000 10 years
No worries, vmruby. I just wanted to be sure I wasn't misunderstanding you. Conflict diamonds, or blood diamonds, come from areas in Africa controlled by rebel organizations that oppose internationally recognized governments. They exploit the areas where the diamonds come from and use the revenue they generate to fund bloody wars. This problem became world known after brutal conflicts in Sierra Lionne in the 1990s. Basically, a lot of people died because of these diamonds. Today only about 1% of diamonds are conflict diamonds because of changes by the UN to ensure diamond revenue supports recognized governments. some general sources:
at27 at27 10 years
I say do not trade it in. I think the best way to go about this without breaking the bank is to have the diamond re-set in a new band. That way, its a still a new ring and you only have to shell out a few bills. Its better to have a semi-new ring and a down payment for a new house than just a new ring. *deposits 0.02 cents*
vmruby vmruby 10 years
ok .....not to sound ignorant, but honestly i have no idea what the significance is in reference to a conflict free or environmentaly friendy diamond, i was just stating a fact about mine. Another poster mentioned it on a different thread a few weeks ago and i never bothered to ask what it meant.It was the first time i had ever heard that.I apologize if i came off a little rough but there are alot of people around here who enjoy the hell out of riling other folks up when they don't see things their way and i'm not into arguing about my opinions(or someone elses)with anyone. :)
pk9000 pk9000 10 years
vmruby, I'm not trying to start anything. I just found it very surprising when you commented about your diamond and how "it's definitely not environmentally friendly nor is it conflict-free."
davie-k davie-k 10 years
What would he feel like if she said to him, oh... you don't mind if now we're engaged we use the ring my ex bought me do you?
vmruby vmruby 10 years
pk9000....... are you trying to start a debate here with me? What's your point?
sparklestar sparklestar 10 years
She should be allowed to choose her own ring, she's the one who is going to be wearing it for the rest of her life after all??
ethiopian_princess ethiopian_princess 10 years
OMG. NO! How would you feel if she gave you a wedding ring from her last marriage? That's unforgivable.
Random2 Random2 10 years
I'd suggest getting the stone reset. I wouldn't break up with my boyfriend if he gave me a 'used' ring, but I would defiantly be hurt (esp. if I found out about the ring's history myself!), and it would make me think twice about accepting the proposal at said time.
pk9000 pk9000 10 years
vmruby, are you saying you're proud of wearing a conflict diamond?
AlliJean AlliJean 10 years
My heart stopped when I read this, my boyfriend was engaged to another girl just two years ago so I've given this predicament some thought. I know diamonds are expensive but I could never accept the ring that he had for his ex-fiancé (I know it's still around and I’ve heard it’s beautiful). You might lose money in trading it in, but do it anyways. If you try to give her the old ring, you know that eventually she would find out. Why start of an engagement/marriage with a secret like that?
Brooklynbee Brooklynbee 10 years
I think you should communicate with your girlfriend about it and ASK HER her opinion! Tell her you love her and want to marry her, and want to get her a special ring; and that you have a ring from a previous engagement but you don't want to give her that ring, and what would she like to do? I'm sure she would love to have a say in creating a new ring together!
pinupsweetheart pinupsweetheart 10 years
I would have it apprased for the value and trade it in for another ring that fits your new girls personality. p.s I would be very upset if I found out later down the road if the ring on my finger was really for another girl.
ash_marisa ash_marisa 10 years
I agree with could keep the diamond and get a new setting and add in new stones if you really do not want to trade it in
jaxon jaxon 10 years
NO NO NO NO! If you must at least put the stone in a new setting.
lilv lilv 10 years
please don't use the ring - she will find out sometime and feel like she isn't worthy of something new. some jewlers will even take the current setting and change it for you.
bluejeanie bluejeanie 10 years
lol @ princess fit. thank god i'm a chick and i don't have to date women.
LaLa0428 LaLa0428 10 years
Why don't you just sell the old one and take the money and buy the girl a brand new ring. duh!
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