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You Asked: Can I Reuse My Old Engagement Ring?

Dear Sugar,

I was engaged two and a half years ago but things didn't work out and we broke up. I still have the ring, which I picked out and I still love — it's my absolute dream engagement ring.

My new boyfriend and I have been talking pretty seriously about getting engaged, and I was wondering if it would be horrible to use my old ring again. I was thinking of getting a band added to it or maybe getting it blessed by my church, but is that totally tacky and weird? — Trying to be Practical Becky

To see DearSugar's answer

Dear Being Practical Becky,

I understand that you love this engagement ring, and while I don't think it's weird to want to reuse it, I do think it's imperative that you talk with your boyfriend and ask him how he feels about the matter before giving it any more thought. Since that ring was originally given to you by another man — a relationship that didn't work out mind you — he might have some strong aversions to you wearing it again under different pretenses.

If he has no problem with the idea, I say go for it! I would recommend, however, doing something to it to make it feel unique to your current relationship. Add a band like you said, or reset the stone — anything to make it seem new again.

I hope I was of some help and hopefully you can put the ring to good use soon!


Join The Conversation
RobyTose RobyTose 8 years
Pfwew... I am recently engaged (YAY!) and had no idea how much talk there would be about the ring! "Where did he find it?" "Did you help pick it out?" "He has such great taste - he's amazing!" Even his friends ask him about it. When you get engaged you want to be crazy happy about everything and not worrying about how you're gonna tell any part of the story. The ring that you're wearing when you marry THIS guy is going to be part of your story TOGETHER. Make your own history. Look online - there are new styles all the time and you might find something you like even more! Good luck - with whatever you decide. :-)
pinklady8287 pinklady8287 8 years
I say wear it since you love it so much, but on the other hand. And definitely get a new ring as the engagement one. It would be so awkward using the old one.
Symphonee Symphonee 8 years
It depends on the price of the ring. I try to be practical so I might sell it and use the money towards the honeymoon, while he looked for a similar ring. Personally, when I looked at it I would think about how stupid my ex was and thank him for saving me some money.
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 8 years
I agree with letting your current boyfriend make the decision. Tell him that you love the ring but feel weird about it since it was from a previous engagement. Leaving it to him will lift a weight off your shoulders and you should just be able to accept whatever he chooses.
itsme3683 itsme3683 8 years
LOL skigurl-- " i would totally be talking behind their back about it" Agreed.
OoOThisIsMeOoO OoOThisIsMeOoO 8 years
no way! jewerly is sentimental to that time and person...wouldn't you think of your ex everytime you look at your engagement ring?
MissJules5x MissJules5x 8 years
i think that the ring is definitely bad luck because it is a symbol of an old relationship that failed. don't you want to move forward and have a new life, new relationship, new ring? i certainly would. i'm not sure why you still have the ring, but since you do have it why don't you sell it and have your boyfriend buy you a similar ring when the time comes. definitely don't reuse the stones and just change the band either. that ring was bought for you by someone else, and if your boyfriend is okay with you keeping a token of a previous engagement then theres something wrong with him because A.) he doesnt care or B.) he's super cheap and doesn't care. sell the ring. put the money in an account for the two of you so when the time comes he can get you another ring of your dreams.
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
I think this ranks right up there with woman who pay for their own ring, tacky!
legalbeagle legalbeagle 8 years
I understand where youre coming from. But think about 25, 30, 50 years from now- an engagement ring is something that is going to be with you (hopefully) for the rest of your life. Youre going to be showing your grandchildren this ring and telling the story behind it. I believe an engagement ring isnt about how beautiful/big it is.. its a symbol of the love and commitment to this man. I feel like I would want it to be unique to the man that I grow old with. I feel like you should sell it and put the money toward a new one that you love.
medenginer medenginer 8 years
When I got divorced my rings went with him. I don't understand the concept since the relationship is over in keeping the ring. I wouldn't want that ring in any form reset or otherwise. I would see it and think failure not love. I know you love that ring but give it a home to someone who will love it also or give it back to him. I agree also new fiance new ring that you pick together. If sold take the money use it how you see fit.
erinridgeway erinridgeway 8 years
Dude, you were supposed to give the ring back when you broke up! Pay your ex for the ring and wear it on your right hand and let your new man get you a new one, or have the stone reset.
sundaygreen sundaygreen 8 years
No you weirdo you can't use an old engagement ring! If you love it so much wear it on your other hand but for heaven's sake, let your current fiance pick out a new one!
seeinpink seeinpink 8 years
New man? New ring. I'm sure you'll find another that you love just as much, or maybe even more. Good luck :)
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
That's tacky as hell. Imagine wearing a ring that he gave to an ex, does that sound fun? Not!
Smilesp Smilesp 8 years
Personally I think this is really weird. First, why do you still have the ring? I think an engagement ring is a conditional gift...if you don't get married, you give it back. If the ex insisted that you keep it then I would have sold it or something. Second, doesn't it bother your current bf that you have an engagement ring from your ex still laying around? I also can't imagine a guy who would be ok with his fiancee having a ring that another man bought, unless he is just THAT cheap. Thirdly, I don't really understand how you can love a ring that symbolizes a relationship that didn't work out and that I would imagine had a somewhat painful ending. I have never heard of anyone doing something like this.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
Well, incidentally, I have to confess I somewhat I identify with the OP. My current engagement ring (and it's matching wedding band) is my dream ring. Thankfully, our engagement went smoothly and lead to marriage, so everything is peachy-keen. However, if my engagement fell through, I would have offered to pay for the ring so that I may keep it for myself, and it would become MY ring. I would have worn it as right-hand ring. And if I was ever engaged to another man, I would switch it my left hand to revive it as an engagement ring. It's MY ring. I could do whatever I damn please. :) I know that sounds ridiculous, but I'm serious. :) I love my ring THAT much. LOL
macchiatolove macchiatolove 8 years
I personally would not want to use it, regardless of whether or not I still held feelings for the ex, I would feel that everyone was jumping to that assumption by me using the old ring, or that people would assume my current boyfriend slash fiance was too cheap to buy me a new one. Also, I know it's silly, but I'd want nothing but good associations with my engagement ring, so I wouldn't want to use the same one, even if it wasn't 'cursed' it just wouldn't feel good, starting my new life with a new guy, but with a ring my old boyfriend bought me!
sprinkibrio sprinkibrio 8 years
Btw, it doesn't matter what the guy did, you should have given the ring back. It is conditional and if it's worth any money he should have fought you for it in court.
sprinkibrio sprinkibrio 8 years
If you are so separated from this ring emotionally that you could actually keep it and think to reuse it with a new relationship, you should be so separated from it as to not love it much anymore. I picked out a ring a few years ago, and I swear I would never think of getting a ring again that looked similar to it. What I think is that part of the reason you do still love the style and diamond so much is because a combination of not distancing who you were in your past relationship enough and the fact that its the most expensive piece of jewelery you own. I would disassemble the ring, sell the gold/platinum per weight, and reset the diamond into a super blingy pendant. Let your boyfriend show his love and commitment to you by buying you a ring just as nice as the one you have and then you'll own two pieces of super blingy jewelry.
lickety-split lickety-split 8 years
in today's economy i think it's smart to use a ring you love and already own. why would it be "horrible", and how is a relationship "tainted" if the ring you wear is agreed upon by the parties involved as being appropriate? if your partner is okay with this, it's fine. the meaning behind the ring is a symbol that is special to the 2 of you. if others don't like it let them spend 3 months wages on a ring in an economy where everyone is uneasy about the future of their job. you do what works for the 2 of you :)
otaku otaku 8 years
that's horrible. i don't think it's cursed, but i think it's very sad. don't you realize that every time you or your boyfriend look at that ring that you'll both think of your ex?! please, if you haven't already, don't even ask your boyfriend. i think it's completely heartless and totally tacky. i wouldn't be suprised if he was so offended and hurt that it caused a huge problem in the relationship and taineted the engagement. sad.
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