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You Asked: Can I Split Their Showers?

Dear Sugar,

I have two daughters, one is getting married in September and one is having a baby in September. Would it be OK to combine their showers and have one big one as opposed to two smaller ones? — Curious Mom Melinda

Dear Curious Mom Melinda,

While it makes perfect sense to simply combine the two showers, I can almost guarantee that your daughters would have some hurt feelings if you went that route. Since each has their own exciting news to celebrate, sharing a shower could take away from their individual joy.

I know showers can be expensive, but each of your daughters deserves their own moment in the spotlight. If you keep the guest lists down to just close friends and family, and if you have the showers at your home or at a friend's home, it'll be easy to keep the costs down. At the end of the day and after all the hard work is behind you, I bet you'll be glad that you showered your girls separately. Congratulations to them and to you!


Join The Conversation
cubadog cubadog 9 years
Defnitely seperate showers. They are both celebrating 2 entirely different things and both should be made to feel special.
Liss1 Liss1 9 years
It wouldn't really be fair to them to have joint showers.
missyd missyd 9 years
don't be cheap
missyd missyd 9 years
lady if you pull a joint, your daughters will be royally pis*ed. And with good reason. I would be.
jaxon jaxon 9 years
I think it depends on how close your daughter's are. I would def want to share a shower with my sisters. We are just that close and so are our friends.
Bisque Bisque 9 years
I had to read and reread that,I was actually thinking of a bathroom shower. =smacks head= I agree with dear though, different news, different showers. Although if they're close enough, maybe they might prefer to make it one?
kikidawn kikidawn 9 years
I agree with Dear's advice. I think separate showers are the way to go. It could get too awkward if they are together... trying to celebrate two different milestones. Just think if you invited people for one daughter and they didn't know the other. The guests might feel obligated to bring a gift for the daughter they don't know. Besides that (and more importantly) your daughters should each have their separate times in the spotlight (and their own celebrations).
jessie jessie 9 years
I agree with dear's advice. but, congrats to both of your daughters.
emalove emalove 9 years
You need to have separate showers.
stefsprl stefsprl 9 years
I actually wouldn't care at all if someone wanted to throw my sister and I a joint shower. We're 5 1/2 years apart but super close, and even though she's young enough that whenever we have our first kid I don't think she'll be ready to get married, I would totally love to share that special time with her. I totally understand that some people would rather have their time to shine in the spotlight, which is totally okay, but I think if the sisters are close enough that it could be a really special experience.
Marci Marci 9 years
Each of your daughters deserves her moment for her special event. I agree with brittanyk that you can keep each shower in check by limiting the guest list, etc. But definitely keep the showers separate. Even the decorations wouldn't mix if you did them together.
kiwitwist kiwitwist 9 years
I wouldn't do them together for the same reasons everyone has said. But you could always ask their opinions on the idea. Just dont' make it sound like it is already set in stone. They could throw us all and be totally into the idea?! Who knows.
brittanyk brittanyk 9 years
I wouldn't have the showers together. I think that it's unfair to your daughters. There are ways you can lower costs, but still have an awesome shower for each of them. Keep a limited amount of people on the guest list, having it at your home, instead of rented location, etc.
skigurl skigurl 9 years
amen to that!
gossipqueen gossipqueen 9 years
Not only the stolen spotlight...think about the guests...if they have to buy two different gifts at once they might be put off. It's totally illogical but I think people would rather go twice...well...I would anyway.
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