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You Asked: Can I Tell My Friend How I Really Feel?

Dear Sugar,

Is it wrong to tell my twice-divorced friend that she doesn't always need to have a guy lined up? She keeps dating these losers, and I end up having to deal with the mess. I want her to learn how to live her own life and wait for the right man. — Looking Out Laura

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Dear Looking Out Laura,

I completely understand where you are coming from — there's nothing more frustrating than watching a friend make poor decisions when it comes to matters of the heart, but unfortunately you can't make decisions for her. You can just be there to support her and give her guidance when she needs it.

While you're helping her pick up the pieces of her broken heart, reassure her that there is someone out there for her, but chasing him won't make him come any faster. While jumping from relationship to relationship might feel comforting in the moment, wasting time with just anyone will only prolong finding Mr. Right. As cliched as it may sound, I strongly believe that there's just no way to have a successful relationship unless you're completely satisfied being alone — it's that alone time that gives you the ability to reflect on past relationships and really understand what it is you want out of future ones.

Your friend will have to make these mistakes to learn from them, so go ahead and offer up your advice but try not to judge her or get too frustrated because at the end of the day, it's her life, not yours.


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