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You Asked: Can We Bounce Back?

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend and I have been going out for going on five months now and were best friends for a year before that. Recently we got into a fight that just kept opening up new topics to fight about. Finally, it got to the point where he said he wasn't sure if we were going to last. He tried to justify it by saying he thinks this because of watching his sister's relationships. He also told me how he's scared for the future and I basically insinuate too much about us being together.

The next day after I cried all night, he apologized for everything. He told me how he loves me and needs me. I'm not sure if I'm quite over that comment though. Is it wrong for me to be upset about what he said? He seems to be more affectionate than before the fight, but I haven't been returning it and I think he notices. Should I bring the whole thing up again or let the subject drop? — Still Upset Stella

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Still Upset Stella,

I'm sorry you're fighting with your boyfriend, that can't be much fun. Once you open the can of worms it's easy to continue fighting with one another. I've been there, but you must figure out a way to work through it or else it's going to destroy your relationship. There's a reason why you're together, so get back to what brought you together in the first place. Of course, you're upset that he questioned your relationship, so have a heart to heart with him, express how his words hurt you and how you're still a bit bruised, but let him know you want to work through it all and make it work.

The fact that he's being more affectionate and making an effort to let you know how much he needs you leads me to believe he was just speaking out of emotions, and he let his feelings get the best of him. Try not to get too hung up on the past and remember that fights are healthy. Real relationships are not all wine and roses. At the end of the day, if you love each other, you can get through this rocky road. Keep the lines of communication as open as possible and remember that you love each other so try to fight fairly. I wish you luck Stella.


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