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You Asked: Did I Fall Out of Love?

Dear Sugar--

I've been in a relationship for about 4 months with what is seemingly the perfect guy. He treats me well. He makes sure that I am always happy. He calls when he says he will... etc. At first, I wasn't sure I wanted to be with him, but he grew on me and I thought I fell in love with him.

We started to spend all of our extra time together, merging our friends and our activities. To make matters worse, I recently moved to a new place and he sort of moved with me, aka staying over every night. At first everything was great and I thought he could be "the one".

I went away for a week, and I didn't really miss him, and all of a sudden I have a completely different feeling about him. I don't know why. I completely avoid him and I don't feel the same when I'm with him. It was just this all of the sudden thing. I know he really loves me and I know at some point I loved him too, but is this a sign that it's over or rather that I'm over him? What should I do?

--Falling Out of Love Laura

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Falling Out of Love Laura--

It sounds like you're just not into this guy anymore, Laura. That's not to say that you never had deep feelings for him at one point, but it's pretty apparent that your feelings have since changed. It's just like what Bonnie Raitt says in I Can't Make You Love Me, "you can't make your heart feel something it won't." Being in a forced relationship with someone isn't fair to you or him, so it sounds like it's time to break it off.

Think about what it is about him or this relationship that you didn't particularly like or that didn't meet your needs. Use this relationship as a learning experience so when you meet other guys in the future, you'll have a better sense of what will make you happy for the long term.


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