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You Asked: Do I Have a Right to Be Annoyed?

Dear Sugar,

My husband and I treated our son and daughter-in-law to a five day vacation in Las Vegas for our son's 30th birthday. They had a great time and look forward to going back. They brought back token gifts for their friends and co-workers but nothing back for my husband and I!

Since we go to Vegas once a year, my daughter-in-law felt that it was pointless to bring us anything but invited to take us out for dinner instead. Am I wrong to feel disappointed? I know I sound shallow but I really feel a little something would have been a nice gesture. Please share your thoughts with me before I drive myself crazy! — Jealous Jannie

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Jealous Jannie,

Let me first tell you how generous it was of you and your husband to send your son on such an extravagant trip, he is very lucky to have such giving parents. Since you guys are frequent Vegas travelers, I think their choice to take you to dinner as a thank you is in fact, the right move here. Although it's natural to feel left out since you were the only ones that didn't retrieve any tchatzkahs, keep in mind that you're the only ones that will get the chance to receive a proper thank you dinner and a chance to hear all about their wonderful trip.

It's normal for 30 year olds to bring back mementos for their friends, but it sounds like they are holding you and your husband to a higher standard. After all, you didn't send them there just so they could bring you back something, did you? You should be grateful that they want to thank you in a grown up manner instead of comparing you to their younger friends. Enjoy the time you spend with them and have fun listening to their vacation tales. I hope this helps.

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