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You Asked: He Broke Up With Me Out of the Blue

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend's mother died two weeks ago, and almost immediately thereafter he broke up with me. He had been taking care of her for the past six months and I know this whole ordeal has been really hard on him. He is the most loving, affectionate, and kind boyfriend I have ever had, and this has been really difficult for me to cope with. We were a very happy couple, and extremely close even while he was caring for his mom. I am just so confused about what happened to cause this break up. Do you have any advice on how to handle this?

— Shocked and Sad Serena

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Shocked and Sad Serena,

While I can't speak to your boyfriend's thought process, I'm sure he's just struggling to cope right now. The best, though not easiest thing to do is give him space. Let all of your very valid questions stay unanswered — for now. It's very possible that he just needs time to work out his own personal issues before committing to your relationship, or it might be that this painful experience has caused him to reevaluate his life.

Whatever the reason, it's best to give him time to figure it out for himself. Once you feel less emotionally invested (this could take months by the way), give him a phone call to check up on how he's doing. From there, let the conversation steer naturally to your time together, and calmly inquire as to what changed. If nothing else it might be nice just to get some real closure. Good luck.


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