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You Asked: Will He Ever Love Me?

I have been dating my boyfriend, who is seven years older than me, for almost six months now and we have never used the "L-word." Lately it has been eating at me; I feel like there should be a certain point where you either love someone or end the relationship. I know I love him and that he means the world to me, I'm just not sure if I'm in love with him. He is my first "real" boyfriend and I'm one of very few long-term relationships for him.

He has never told anyone else he loves them and says he's never been in love. I spent weeks batting around the idea of spilling my feelings for him first, which takes a lot of nerve, and so finally I did. I came out and
asked him if he loved me, and he told me no. A week or so later I asked him if he thought he'd ever fall in love with me, and he said he "didn't think so." It broke my heart and we nearly ended the relationship. He says he enjoys being with me and wants to see where it goes because we have a lot of fun together, but I think it should be "going somewhere" already. I don't want to rush things, but I don't want to wait around for another disappointment. So should I end it now or wait it out and see where it goes, and if so, how long should I wait? I don't want to be in a relationship that isn't headed towards long-term commitment and then marriage. — One Sided Love Linds

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear One Sided Love Linds,

Six months in the grand scheme of things isn't that long to be dating someone but it is long enough to have established some expectations before getting more serious. I do think you did the right thing by expressing your feelings first since it brought you to this cross roads sooner than later.

With all that said, it sounds as though your boyfriend isn't on the same page as you. The fact that you asked him outright if he was ever going to love you, and that he said no, is a huge red flag. If you love someone, you should be with someone that loves you back. Your boyfriend is being very honest with you, so I would trust your gut and get out of this relationship sooner than later. Good luck.


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