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You Asked: He Hasn't Called — What Gives?

You Asked: He Hasn't Called — What Gives?

Dear Sugar,

I met a cute boy at a law school function on Saturday night and after a few cocktails and dances, we ended up at a bar, just the two of us, and kissing ensued. It was lovely and he offered to walk me back to my apartment. (I insisted it wasn't necessary seeing as how we live on opposite sides of Manhattan, but the boy could not be dissuaded!) Though he never made it beyond my apartment doorway, we exchanged the cutesy "let's do this again soon" texts after he left. So now, it's Monday, and he has yet to contact me again. What gives? — Surprised Sascha

To see DearSugar's answer

Dear Surprised Sascha,

Before jumping to the conclusion that he won't call, remember that it's only Monday and you just met two days ago — maybe he's playing by "the rules." As irritating as this answer may be, the only thing you can do is wait. Now I'm not asking you to wait patiently — I'm sure you're watching the phone as we speak! — but try to keep it all relative; Mondays can be a drag of a day; perhaps he's just busy.

If you just can't wait any longer for him to contact you, you could always make the move. As Steve Santagati put it: "It's so very provocative when a woman is strong and empowered," so tell him that you had a great time with him the other night and ask him if he'd like to get together again. If he bites, you'll know he's interested and perhaps just got tied up, but if your advance goes unreturned, you'll know to move on, which in my opinion, is far better than the guessing game. Good luck.


jazzytummy jazzytummy 8 years
Well, I am waiting with bated breath...did he call?
Glittersniffer Glittersniffer 8 years
I'd call him if I had an idea for something to do. A'la "I know finals are probably evil right now. How's about we meet for a lunchtime study break?" But I don't call without a good reason. Otherwise I feel like I'm sounding desperate and that's a total confidence sap. Also, you've broken the text barrier already, so you could always text him. "I'm gonna be in your neck of the woods on ______, lunch?" is neutral, shows you're interested, but doesn't make you seem like you're "OMG you must see MEEEEE" desperate.
Jeny Jeny 8 years
omfg seriously? Have some confidence jeeeez.. It's been A DAY AND A HALF.. He'll call you by Friday and if he doesn't, he probably has a girlfriend lol.. But on a serious note, guys usually wait AT LEAST 48 hours to call.. he doesn't want to seem desperate. Good luck!
356UIK 356UIK 8 years
Eh, I wouldnt call him if I were you. I imagine he would call you eventually, but you never know. I wouldnt worry about it either way. Its not that serious ;)
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
Like others have said. It's only Monday. I wouldn't worry to much. I would give it a couple more days, and then if he hasn't called, you call him! There is nothing wrong with showing your interest. People say guys run away if they don't get to "chase" you. Yeah, but those are the guys that just want the chase, they usually aren't looking for something more, so why would you want one of them anyway? I think if a guy is truly interested in you, they get excited just like we do to know that someone they like, likes them back. If he doesn't seem interested when you call him though, and doesn't really want to do anything, then just let him go and move on b/c he's just not that into you.
SaucySassy SaucySassy 8 years
Its only monday but I know you probably expect some cute texts cause thats what we girls would do - but he is probably trying to not scare you off. He will probably call T, W or TR for the weekend. :)
FactCheckinCuz FactCheckinCuz 8 years
call him
simply-me simply-me 8 years
Like many others said, give him a couple more days. If he doesn't call you and you are really interested, give him a call or send him a text. You two left it off on "we'll do this again soon" not him saying "I'll call you." So if you want it, the ball is your court too.
macchiatolove macchiatolove 8 years
I wonder what has happened since? I would give him a few days and then bar him off. I don't like when guys play by the 3 day rule - it seems like they're playing mind games which I don't appreciate or want in a partner! That being said, it's widespread, and guys don't seem to see it like that.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
He's not going to call. Someone who seriously likes you wont wait. The concept alone is ludicrous.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 8 years
Um, it's Monday. Give it a few days, then call him if you really want to talk to him.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 8 years
he wanted a one night, and you didnt follow through on your teasing so he wont call you.
krae85 krae85 8 years
don't call him instead. it's only monday, he'll probably call, just be patient.
Myst Myst 8 years
Like everyone said. It's only Monday. Don't fret over it.
sweetpeabrina sweetpeabrina 8 years
It's coming upon the end of the semester. He probably has finals or something to study for. Be patient.
geebers geebers 8 years
I did this a few times too -but those guys ended up being lame. I know we want to give women some power but frankly- if he takes my number and he says he will call me then I like to trust him enough to let him call because if he doesn't- it usually means he is not interested (I said usually not always before anyone jumps on me). Now, if I said I would call HIM or he gave me HIS number- that is a different story. I am also old-fashioned when it comes to dating so yes I want him to call and "court" me. I am not going to chase a guy and my past experiences have proven that for the first call - better to let him make the move. Plus I was busy , so if I didn't hear from a guy I usually forgot him and had moved onto someone else.
ceark ceark 8 years
From a guys perspective: If your worried about him not calling, call him instead. There is no reason why the guy always has to take the initiative to call.
geebers geebers 8 years
I remember this- waiting for the guy to call -talking to my fellow single girls about the 2-day rule. I hated that part so I understand why you are fretting about this. But yes- I can assure you- that when I was single and dating- every guy (and I mean every guy) followed the 2 day rule. Tonight you will get a call- at the latest- tomorrow evening.
nm1188 nm1188 8 years
I don't blame you for worrying already! I would be in the exact same boat. If you don't hear from him in a week, write him off and move on! Speaking from past experience, it does no good obsessing over this!
rellicDragon rellicDragon 8 years
Dont' worry about it at all girl ... he will call (and if he doesn't he is a jerk) but plz play by the rules n don't call him ... Just relax n wait ... :) These are just excerpts from the book, he is not just that into you ... and basically it convinces you never ever to call a man ... worked for me ... hope it works for you :) Let him chase you ...
candace87 candace87 8 years
Uhhh.. its Monday. You met on Saturday. Chill, really. He isn't going to call and have some awkward conversation, he'll probably call closer to the weekend once he has an idea of what he/you will be doing. That way it can just be a short, 'Hey want to do this on Friday night? Okay bye.'
colombiansugar colombiansugar 8 years
This is going to sound totally jaded, but as someone who has done the whole law school thing (and has had several friends do it in various cities across the US), let me just give you fair warning: law school students (particularly the men!) are notoriously flaky, horny, and unreliable. For now - just relax, it hasn't been that long and law students have a LOT of work occupying their time. However, if he does not call you, you just dodged a bullet. Do not bother contacting him! If he does call you, be very careful that you are not just another booty call (unless you want to be). That is not to say that sweet, sincere law school boys do not exist (because they do!) ... just... be careful ;)
princess_eab princess_eab 8 years
it's only Monday! calm down! and anyway, it sounds like he likes you - if he doesn't call, chalk it up to circumstances outside your control. relax, lady!
skigurl skigurl 8 years
don't fear yet! as dear's only monday! if he doesn't contact you by wednesday, then i'll give you an opinion! the entire night sounds positive, so i wouldn't worry yet, if i were you!
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