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You Asked: His Mother Won't Leave Us Alone!

You Asked: His Mother Won't Leave Us Alone!

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend and I recently broke up for a brief period and during that time, his mom called me twice: first to say that she hoped we could still carry on a friendship, and second to tell me that she thought I should do whatever I could to try to get back together with her son. I appreciate that she likes me enough to want us to get back together, but her presence during our breakup was very overwhelming for me. Once she found out we were back on, she asked us what we were going to do differently this time. I just stared at her with my mouth open and my boyfriend made a joke to diffuse the uncomfortable situation. Now she asks every time she sees us how "things are going" and it's getting to be too much.

I'm not sure what to do. He's very close with his mom so I can't just avoid her. I don't want to create any bad blood between us, but I'd really like her to let us work things out on our own. Any ideas about how to kindly, but firmly ask her to butt out? — Aggravated Angela

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Dear Aggravated Angela,

Having a boyfriend who is close to his mother has its upsides and its downsides. It sounds as though she really likes you two as a couple so be thankful that's she's trying to bring you closer, not break you up. You're right, you don't want to burn any bridges with her so I suggest talking to your boyfriend and ask him to talk to her for you. Her constant nagging has got to be weighing on him as well so I advise you to nip this in the bud before she gets too comfortable meddling in your business.

Since you recently got back together with your boyfriend, distance yourselves from his family for a while so you can concentrate on making your relationship stronger. Hopefully, your boyfriend's mom will respect your need for space and once your relationship is back on solid ground, you'll be able to establish a close relationship while keeping her at an arm's length. Good luck!


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