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You Asked: How Can I Compliment My Boyfriend?

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend loves to tell me how sexy, hot, or gorgeous he thinks I am. I love that he loves how I look, but I find it hard to return the compliments. I find him sexy and am very attracted to him (and tell him so), but I would never describe him as "hot." I don't know how to compliment him the way he does me without feeling like I'm lying through my teeth. Do you have any advice? — Shy Sheila

To see DearSugar's answer,


Dear Shy Sheila,

Complimenting your boyfriend doesn't have to be done in the same manner that he compliments you. As you stated above, it feels good to hear that your significant other finds you attractive, so while you might not think he's the most beautiful man you've ever seen, why not compliment the features or characteristics you do find attractive? Perhaps it's the way he touches you, or the way he looks at you; you could even let him know how amazing it makes you feel when he does x, y, or z or how sexy you find him when he's fresh out of the shower.

At the end of the day, we all like our egos to be stoked from time to time, so remember, extending an accolade doesn't always have to be about appearance. I hope I was of some help!


hillamaria hillamaria 8 years
My boyfriend always finds the right words to say and I feel guilty for not being as into expressing my feelings as he is.. but he doesn't mind. I show my love more with gestures than by words. I'm still trying to say him compliments about his good looks, his way of caring about my things, how he always tries to cheer me up, is there for me... it doesn't have to be too complicated, anything nice goes.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
My boyfriend will tell me I'm pretty/beautiful but during sex he'll use "hot" as well. I usually compliment him in the same way but I'll tell him he looks good in a shirt or whatever... We're constantly complimenting each other though and I'll grab his ass quite a lot. He likes that compliment. ;)
macchiatolove macchiatolove 8 years
Agreed. Tell him WHY you like him, and what you like about him, rather than comment on his appearance. OR, when he looks especially good, say something like 'I love that shirt on you' or something. You don't need to say he's hot if you feel uncomfortable saying it!
mortar31 mortar31 8 years
guys are vain... and i think all of you got it right. Complimenting something specific is always nice with us guys. Especially if it is something we do.
dbcvt dbcvt 8 years
guys love to know what they do is appreciated. ALWAYS thank him when he pays for anything, even if it's a routine that neither of you seem to give a second thought to. and not just "thanks for paying", give it enthusiasm and originality EVERY time. "thanks for paying for lunch today, that food was good!" "thanks for buying my movie ticket" etc. thank him for EXACTLY what he did. every single time my boyfriend pays for something, i always do this, we've been together a long time and the look on his face is genuine happiness everytime i do it. break it down to simplicity and evolution: men like to be the breadwinners. whether they realize it or not, they do things to support us and impress us (some guys are better at it than others). this is how men show love. so, make sure he knows his manliness is not going unnoticed if you want to do the physical thing without telling him he's hot, pick something you DO like, even if its not "attractive". my boyfriend has horrendous teeth but i still love to see him smile. you may not think your bf is a babe, but you must be attracted to him physically SOMEhow. his eyes? smile? hair? butt?
le-romantique le-romantique 8 years
Compliment his work achievements (considering he has them). Feeling appreciated is more important to them than feeling 'sexy.' The number one reason people cheat or get a divorce is because they don't feel appreciated... And then you can tell him he looks sexy in something, or smells sexy (if he does, of course, don't boost his ego if he stinks! haha) Cause those are nice things to hear on occasion.
Miss-Senorita Miss-Senorita 8 years
I agree it might be one day he wears something just right and you'll tell him he does something just right or make you feel just right. You will find the words.
kia kia 8 years
Be honest and sincere. Let him know you appreciate him and why.
Myst Myst 8 years
millions of ways to compliment him without having to say, how "hot" he is. I refuse to tell my guy that he's hot (even though I think he is), but he doesn't need any more of an ego boost from me.
kristyy kristyy 8 years
ckeller825 - I like it when I get compliments on my teeth!! :) I actually like that more than a guy telling me I'm hot or sexy because it's a more specific compliment and he's paying attention. "Oh baby, you're so sexy" - seems generic. Even if he does mean it, I'm sure he's given that compliment to someone else before!
TidalWave TidalWave 8 years
"i love it when you" "you make me feel so" "I am happy when" "you look great in that"
ckeller825 ckeller825 8 years
I don't think I've ever told my boyfriend that I think he's sexy...I just think that's weird and too cliche. But I always tell him things like how cute I think he is, or how I love the way he ________, etc. There are so many different wants to compliment a guy without having to tell them how good-looking you think they are. I think guys really love it when you talk about what you love about their personality or the way they do every day things. And I think the strangest compliment that I've given my bf that's put a really big smile on his face was telling him that he has really white teeth, and how I really love his thick eyebrows. He looked SO happy, haha.
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