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You Asked: How Can I Make him be More Affectionate?

Dear Sugar--

I have a great boyfriend, who I've been with for almost 1 year. He's a great guy, and we always have a great time together. There's just one thing that bothers me....he is not a passionate guy, or passionate enough to display affection in public. I like PDA, such as kissing in public, or caressing his back. However, he's pretty uptight about it. Once, while we were waiting in line in a clothing store, I put my hand on his butt, and just started to touch it casually, not in an erotic way. He immediately grabbed my hand and put it on his waist, apparently he didn't like my touching in public. I think PDA is a cute way to show your love to the world, while he think it's embarrassing and inappropriate. What should I do? Should I accept it as a fact, as his personality, or should I move on to find a guy who's more passionate and not afraid of showing love to others?

--I Need Passion Pam

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear I Need Passion Pam--

Many people have issues with public displays of affection. They think that everyone is staring at them and that any kind of touching or kissing is best saved for the bedroom. My question though is this: How is his level of passion behind closed doors? If he is all about getting it on and being affectionate when no one is watching, then you have to know that your man's uptightness about PDA is in no way a reflection of how he feels about you. It probably just makes him really uncomfortable to be showy.

That's not to say that him pushing your hand away and turning away from your kisses isn't frustrating. I suggest you tell him how you feel. Explain how important it is to express your love to him no matter where you are, and ask him if he could meet you half way. Since he is clearly uncomfortable, you have to respect his wishes as well and come to a fair compromise.

Maybe you two can come up with rules about your PDA, like holding his hand is okay, but touching his butt is out of the question. Maybe kissing on the cheek is acceptable, but lip-to-lip contact isn't. Once you two reach an agreement about this, I'm sure you'll both feel better.


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