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You Asked: How Can I Make it up to Her?

Dear Sugar--

My girlfriend and I have just had our 3 year anniversary, problem is, she was expecting a material present (we hadn't gotten each other material presents since before last November) and a special day. I had only planned a dinner and did not finish her present in time.

So right now, she's feeling very disappointed and just can't shake it. So, we haven't done anything together since. Any advice as to what to do? Nothing I say or do makes a difference (she told me).

--In-the-Dog-House Danny

To hear DEARSUGAR'S answer,

Dear In-the-Dog-House Danny--

I know you said you haven't exchanged material presents in over a year, but girls LOVE to get presents - especially on meaningful occasions. If you never talked about exchanging gifts for your 3 year anniversary, it's really not you fault. Deep down inside she was probably hoping that you would get her a present to symbolize how much you appreciate having her in your life (girls love to be reminded!).

From a girl's perspective, 3 years is a long time to be together. From her reaction, it sounds as though she was expecting something bigger. Is it possible that she thought you were going to propose? Have you two ever discussed your future plans as a couple?

While her reaction seems incredibly selfish, her shutting you out is a red flag. Keep talking to her, tell her how much she means to you and ask her if her disappointment is strictly from the lack of gift or if there is something more. I'm not sure what your situation is, but this might be a great time to think about your future together.

Once you get to the bottom of this, how about taking her to a Bed & Breakfast to re-connect, send flowers to her office, or plan a romantic picnic next weekend. Doing something she doesn't expect will surely make her feel better. Good luck Danny!


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