My boyfriend of four years and I broke up seven months ago. Three days after we broke up, he started hooking up with a new girl. For the past seven months, he has been dating her semiseriously, and I have been trying to see other people. I had no idea it would take so long to find someone new, let alone get over my ex, and I have been miserable. I know people have this happen to them all the time, so what should I do to ease the pain of missing him and watching him move on when I haven't been able to do the same? I still love him so much. — Stagnant Stacy
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Dear Stagnant Stacy,
Moving on from a failed relationship when you're still in love can feel like an uphill, never ending battle — I know, I've been there — but realize that it's not a race; it doesn't matter who moves on first or faster. We're all different beings so while it might have taken your ex a shorter amount of time to find someone else, it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with the fact that you haven't yet. The only way to have a successful relationship with someone new is to leave your old one in the past, so take as much time as you need to grieve — four years is a long time — and when you feel ready, take baby steps in the moving on process. In the meantime, be good to yourself. Lean on your friends and family for support, keep busy, and look forward to a fun holiday season ahead of you! Good luck.