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You Asked: How Can We Make My House Our House?

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend of two years and I have been talking about moving in with each other. However, I'm the homeowner so he would be moving into my space. We've talked about how this would work, treating it as "our" space but he's still worried about feeling like it would be more my place. I've suggested moving my items out of one room so he can have a room completely to himself in addition to incorporating his other items into the rest of the house but he's still not convinced. Do you have any suggestions on how to make this transition more welcoming?
— Cohabiting Connie

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Cohabiting Connie,

Moving in with a significant other is a big step so make sure you're both 110 percent ready. Before you make any commitments, be sure to discuss all the tough topics like money, how you both feel about house guests, how you'll handle arguments, grocery shopping, chores, and most importantly, what your future entails. Once you're on the same page, I'd say you're ready to take the next step in your relationship.

Since you're the homeowner and he'll be moving into your previously lived-in space, there's no real way around him feeling like this is your home. If selling is not an option, you're going to have to let go of the power and do your best to open your home to him in every way possible. It's easy to be set in your ways and grow accustomed to your things being in specific places, but you're going to have to compromise so his things have a place, too. I think one of the hardest parts about moving in together is feeling like you've lost all your privacy, so having a room of his own could make all the difference in the world.

At the end of the day, if your house is filled with love and respect, living together can be a wonderful life-changing experience. Check in with my friend CasaSugar for some more tips on how to make your place, our place. Good luck!


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