Skip Nav
The Definitive List of Chick Lit Classics That Are Still Worth Reading
How Travel Can Heal a Broken Heart
This Couple's Hack For Smuggling Snacks Into the Movies Is Going Viral

You Asked: How Do I Express My Feelings?

Dear Sugar,

I recently went on a "date" with an acquaintance from college. We had recently been interacting through an online social network, and she happened to be visiting the city I was in at the moment. We met up and had some good conversation over coffee. It lasted four hours, and the time flew by quickly. During the date I noticed her playing with her hair, smiling, and mimicking my actions. All signs of flirting or showing interest, I heard. As we talked I became more and more attracted her; she has qualities that I really like in a female companion, and we related on a lot of similar topics. Now there is a possibility that she may be in town again visiting family. We said that we will try and meet up if possible.

How do I go about expressing my feelings to her? How do I know if she feels the same? We had an amazing time and there was definitely a connection, but I also do not want to lose our friendship over this.

— Full of Emotions Emmet

To see DearSugar's answer,


Dear Full of Emotions Emmet,

It definitely sounds like your crush enjoyed her time with you, and after you hang out with her again, I'm sure you'll feel more certain about her feelings. Unfortunately one of the most difficult things about starting a relationship is that it requires you to put yourself out there. And of course once you do, you make yourself vulnerable to rejection and, potentially, the loss of a friend. But you also become available to gaining something really special.

Since it's still early on, try giving things a bit more time to develop. I wouldn't be surprised if after you've spent more time together, a moment will arise when sharing your feelings would seem natural. In the meantime, there's nothing wrong with just coming out and saying that you're having a great time with her and would love to do more together; just be sure to follow through! All that matters in the end is that you're honest about your feelings and respectful of hers; any woman will appreciate that.


Join The Conversation
tomatoshirt tomatoshirt 8 years
May I just say this is so cute... =)
Janine22 Janine22 8 years
It sounds like she was flirting back, so I would agree with the other girls. Hang out with her again, keep flirting, get to know each other a bit more. Wait until she feels a bit more comfortable around you, and the moment feels right and natural. You sound like you are pretty good at reading her body language, so keep doing that and you will know what is appropriate and when it would be appropriate to bring dating up or just kiss her. Good luck to you.
missluckygenes missluckygenes 8 years
just be yourself, relax, be present, honest and kind.....don't let your "what if" thoughts destroy your healthy amount of self pride and worth. these kinds of things happen naturally, they unfold on their own, so be patient and just enjoy the now of each moment.....your good vibes and healthy attitude and mindset will radiate from you naturally, and she will be able to feel it, sense it. you sound like you're in a good place, but you're dealing w anxiety about hypotheticals and what ifs that may or may never happen. just be who you are, true to yourself, relax, and things naturally fall into place, and it was literally effortless, bc of the positive nature that seems to be there on both sides. keep smiling! its all good!
austerity austerity 8 years
This is not even a problem dude ;) just hang in there, meet up again, keep having a good time, keep flirting and see where it leads. Good luck!
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 8 years
I'd just tell her you had a great time and can't wait to get together again. That shows her that you are interested and it's not going to scare her off. It seems like she has the same feelings for you so this could have the potential to go somewhere great. Good luck, you seem really sweet.
g1amourpuss g1amourpuss 8 years
The touching thing is just a test though - it doesn't mean move in for the kill. Give her time to respond to it, or wait and see if she is comfortable touching your arm or chest or where ever when she's talking to you.
g1amourpuss g1amourpuss 8 years
Yeah! Dearsug's always right - The word I was going to say was let it happen Naturally. :) Wait for that glimmer in her eye, and when the moments right ask if you can kiss her or wait for your lips to just come together. You can also lightly touch her on her arm, on the top of her hand, or lower back (oh I love that) while talking to or like if you're walking with her do the back thing. If she pulls away in like a cringing type of way then don't do anything. Definitely try to see her again, but if she doesn't call or want to hang there are other women in the sea. :) Good luck.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
Don't express your feelings to her yet. In my opinion, it's still early. Try to get-together with her again when she's back in town. Take it slow. In time, you will know how she really feels about you through her deeds. Give it more time to read her accurately. "During the date I noticed her playing with her hair, smiling, and mimicking my actions. All signs of flirting or showing interest, I heard." This sounds promising, but don't read too much into it. Some women are naturally charming. They are that way with everybody. It's their nature, not that they particularly like you. Again, give it more time. JMHO.
Summer Bucket List For Friends
Marriage Lessons
#IBelieveYou Supports Sexual Assault Victims (Video)
Ways to Make Someone Happy
From Our Partners
Latest Love
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds