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You Asked: How did our Sex go from Bad to Good?

Dear Sugar--
My boyfriend and I were together for 8 months. The sex was not that great, but we still loved each other and enjoyed being together. 3 weeks after we broke up, we started talking again, and one night, we had sex. I am not sure what happened, but it was amazing, mind blowing sex. Why is this so? --Pleasantly Surprised Paulina

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Pleasantly Surprised Paulina--

Well, there could be many reasons why the sex was so great after the breaking up, but the first thing that comes to mind is that you simply missed each other. Since you didn't take that long of a break, you obviously still care for each other and your connection might have been deeper than you first thought.

Since you are technically not together any more, a level of pressure could have been taken off both your shoulders that lent itself to make each of you feel more relaxed and free in the bedroom.

Regardless of the reasoning, did your night together make you want to reconcile with your ex? Sometimes being apart can make a world of difference in a relationship - perhaps in your case distance did in fact make the heart grow fonder! Chalk your experience up to great break up sex and see what happens from here on out!


Join The Conversation
beautifulmel beautifulmel 8 years
As someone else said, part of it was low expectations. You certainly didn't expect it-- sometimes that makes all the difference!
jewels2222 jewels2222 10 years
Go for it... as long as it stays good, keep doing it, if/when it starts sucking again... THEN stop ; )
sweetnsyrup sweetnsyrup 10 years
I'd say it was that it was off limits and yo wer reconciling. I've often had the best sex making up. Sometimes i wonder if we don't argue jsut to make up. :)
PrissyLilBadAss PrissyLilBadAss 10 years
Pop, that's exactly what I was thinking! rkdub... that was the best metaphor for this situation! "Party like a rock star, pound like a porn star, play like an all star!"
kendalheart kendalheart 10 years
HAHAHAHAHA your right about that rkdub!
rkdub rkdub 10 years
Plus, be careful not to build up your expectations.... then next time you are going to be expecting a fourth of July display and instead you are going to get a sparkler....
lorioz lorioz 10 years
I agree with the above as well.
Marci Marci 10 years
I agree with Dear, kendalheart, shy-baby and pop. All wise words.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 10 years
Maybe part of you felt like you shouldn't be doing it because you were broken up and the ilicitness of the sex made it hotter?
shy_baby shy_baby 10 years
Hmm, my friend went through the same thing. Could it be the pressure of being "boyfriend and girlfriend" that caused him to suck? Maybe its the excitement, like kendalheart said. But i don't think i would recommend giving it a try again cuz it could go right back to being bad \:)
kendalheart kendalheart 10 years
Also I think that there is that whole element of excitement because it hasnt happened in awhile. Give it another try, see if it is awesome again!
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