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You Asked: I Feel Guilty When I Masturbate

Dear Sugar--

I'm a single 24 year old virgin. I haven't dated too many men and I'm not sexually active or even that experienced. I started to masturbate recently, but after I have an orgasm I feel guilty and a little dirty. I don't think there's anything wrong with masturbation, but I don't know why I feel like this or how to get rid of the feeling.

--Feeling Guilty Greta

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Feeling Guilty Greta-

First of all, I need to say that I completely agree with you - there is nothing wrong with masturbation. I'm in full support of it 100%. Figuring out what you like sexually on your own will help you out immensely when you are ready to be intimate with someone else. If you already know what pleases you, all you need to do is feel confident enough to ask for it.

Now you said that you are a virgin, and fairly inexperienced when it comes to sex. Is this by choice? Do your religious or cultural beliefs forbid you from experimenting sexually? Were you taught by your parents or in school that sex or pleasure was a dirty thing? There's a reason that you feel guilty after masturbating - someone must have placed that idea in your head, so if you can get to the root of those negative feelings, then you can figure out how to get past them.

Also, since you're new to pleasuring yourself, it'll take some time before you feel comfortable with it. I'm sure everyone feels a little naughty or sneaky when it comes to being sexual - that's part of the fun. Whatever you do, just try to put the bad feelings out of your mind and focus on the fact that you are doing something to show yourself love and affection. Being sexual is one of the greatest parts about being human so have fun!


Join The Conversation
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
I love masterbating!!! LOL no really, I do. I get to have a guaranteed orgasm, and my sheets stay clean. You shouldn't feel bad afterwards. . . since i'm single and don't like to shag every Tom, Dick, or Harry, It's easier for me, and it keeps me from hooking up only because I was ulrta horny! Besides, masterbasting allows you to get in touch ( no pun intended) with your body. You know what you like and what you don't like.
reeeeka reeeeka 9 years
Love it. Embrace it. Embrace yourself. Don't feel guilty because there's NOTHING to feel guilty about. Masturbation is meant to make you feel good not bad! I hope you find out why you feel that way. Maybe you feel guilty because you haven't actually had sex? Maybe you're wasting the good time on your hands or vibrator and not on someone you love? I dunno...that's the only conclusion I can come too. Or maybe you grew up in a strict house where sex or anything sexual was looked down apon...which in that case I'd say try to get past're an adult.
yaliyah yaliyah 9 years
masturbation is a great way to find out what you like. It also might prevent you from making a bad choice with a guy you aren't into just to get off. I don't think there should be any shame there. Men do it all the time and it's understood as normal. It's normal for us too, we just don't talk about it. Good for you!
The-Italian-Jem The-Italian-Jem 9 years
How is masturbating betraying your lover? Ya'll should just let him know, and find out how much it turns him on!!
PJ-PJ-PJ PJ-PJ-PJ 9 years
Don't you dare feel guilty about masturbating! It's perfectly normal to do that. It is great satisfaction, great stress relief, & keeps you from getting any STDs. Good for you & your virginity. Look, your future lover will probably be glad you waited & they will be just as excited that you masturbated the whole time. So, don't worry one bit about it. Just think, the more you do it, the less guilty you will feel about it!
maplesyrup maplesyrup 9 years
You shouldn't feel guilty for masturbating but I think this guilt stems from what society has taught us. Basically, masturbating is "evil" or "disgusting" or even "wrong." Some religious beliefs even condemn such acts of pleasure. However, remember that you're only human and you have human needs, which is sex. If it'll make you feel better, let me remind you that humans and dolphins are the only two mammals on this Earth that have sex for fun. So don't feel so guilty about your private pleasures. It's not like you killed someone. God forbid!
nessabum nessabum 9 years
i definitely think that you shouldn't feel guilty for that. you're satisfying yourself sexually without transmitting STDs and doing things you'll regret. you're being responsible. and one should never feel guilty about being responsible.
tati33 tati33 9 years
Hispanic + Catholic + Strict = sex bad!!
tati33 tati33 9 years
Nicachica!! Amen!!
msdyanelk msdyanelk 9 years
If you are feeling embarassed it could have a lot to do with you just not knowing enough about your body yet. The idea is to keep exploring! Guilt? Child, please. You better smack yourself on the azz and ride the wave! Like LusciousE17 comments: no risk of STDs or unwanted pregnancies.
Hootie Hootie 9 years
I totally feel where you are coming from "nicachica"!!! Hispanic, Catholic & strict!!! LOL... Guilt!
LusciousE17 LusciousE17 9 years
hey, at least youll be getting fulfilled in a sexual way without any risk of STDs or getting pregnant or anything!
sarar855 sarar855 9 years
i dont think that there is anything wrong wit masturbating. id rather do that then go out and do things wit guys that illl regret afterwards... i have to give u props not many girls stay a virgin that long... keep pleasing urself there is nothing wrong wit it...
kendalheart kendalheart 9 years
Wow, i have to say I am suprised also inadee!! There is NO guilt here!
inadee inadee 9 years
wow.. I didn't realise so many women feeling guilty about masturbation!
Djopina Djopina 9 years
Having sex is not a problem for me either. But mastrubation makes me feel guilty, perhaps because I have a boyfriend and I feel like I betray him...
Dannie037 Dannie037 9 years
i second elizabeth, having sex is ok, but masturbation just makes me feel guilty.
nicachica nicachica 9 years
hmmm...if you grew up in a household anything like mine (Hispanic, Catholic, strict parents, sex is dirty)...well, let's just say i understand where you're coming from! frankly, i don't have much advice to give but i wanna let you know that you're not alone! it took me awhile to get over that whole "sex/masturbation is dirty" mentality so hopefully it will happen with you too. happy exploring!
elizabethgracef elizabethgracef 9 years
I don't feel guilty after sex but I too feel guilty after masturbation...why I'm not sure either.
HeatherinHouston HeatherinHouston 9 years
Nothing to be embarrassed of. Its a great mood lifter and stress reliever. Take care of all areas. Dont feel quilty, think of it as a sort of fun stress management!
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