Skip Nav
Win Halloween With These 69 Movie-Inspired Couples Costume Ideas
This Modern Take on Disney Princesses Will Make You Want to Be Their BFF
Can Using Sex Toys Too Often Affect Your Ability to Orgasm? An Expert Weighs In

You Asked: I Only Attract Much Older Men

Dear Sugar,

I am a young, college student who is comfortable in her own skin. However, I seem to only be pursued by men that are much older than me. Guys my age just seem to look straight past me, while older men always show interest in me. I find this a little creepy and can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with me. I'm a pretty girl by most standards, in good shape, and wear the same clothes as other girls my age. Physically, there's no reason why a young guy shouldn't be looking at me. There just seems to be something about my aura that only attracts older men.

Admittedly, I'm usually attracted to guys a little but older than myself, and when I really like someone, it has always been reciprocal. I'm not worried that I'll never meet anyone, but it bothers me that younger guys don't seem to notice me. Is there something wrong with me, and if so, what should I change?

— Older Men Only Marissa

To see DearSugar's answer,


Dear Older Men Only Marissa,

Though I've never laid eyes on you, if I had to guess, I would assume that you're a women who looks a few years older than her age and who brings with her a maturity associated with women in their later 20s. While there's certainly nothing wrong with that, it's not surprising that older men, who are looking for a younger woman, would find that combination attractive. Unfortunately, having a much older man interested in you can feel a bit discomforting, but you can't control who's attracted to you, only how you react to their advances. If any man, no matter the age, makes you feel the least bit uncomfortable, then keep away from him.

As far as men your age go, I would bet that your male peers are attracted to you, but unlike their older counterparts, the young men wandering your college campus are still novices when it comes to pursuing a woman. Also, you mention that you're mostly interested in men a few years older, so it may be possible that around men your age, you're giving off an indifferent vibe that they're responding to by keeping away. If you want to start connecting with them more, don't be afraid to reach out via a quick conversation or even a smile; they're probably just waiting for an invitation.


Join The Conversation
Tonii2010 Tonii2010 7 years
The same exact thing happens to me. Older guys always try and talk to me where as guys around my age do not even seem to have interest in me. Even when I try to hang around guys my own age it still doesn't work out.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
I ignore the wierdos and oldsters.
bluestar bluestar 9 years
I'm right there with you, for some reason old men flock to me! It's that I'm a little older I'm used to it and it's kind of amusing. Now I just ask them how much money they have, might as well get a sugar daddy out of one of them!
SassAndBide SassAndBide 9 years
popgoestheworld speaks the truth
bigestivediscuit bigestivediscuit 9 years
I think popgoestheworld gave the best advice. It just may be your maturity level and how you hold yourself. But I wouldn't worry about it - though I could see how that's annoying. I'm also wondering where these older guys approach you at? A bar, campus, etc.? If you want younger male attention maybe you just need to hang out where they are ... I don't know. Having said that I'm in my mid twenties and when I worked in a young trend clothing store last summer, this boy who was probably no more than 15 decided to chat me up and his opening line was "So, what grade are you in?" I counted on my fingers and was like ... "17th?" So in a way, be glad that it's not the other way around for you. *sigh*
HeidiMD HeidiMD 9 years
I think guys your age probably don't know how to respond to the confidence and "aura" you project. They are probably used to flightier, more insecure girls who are still figuring themselves out, and who don't have any limits when it comes to guys.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
If you want to get younger college guys interested, get drunk and hit on them. Otherwise, just wait a few years for them to grow up.
jessie jessie 9 years
there is not a thing wrong with you! :) if you feel the need to hook up with some more your age...get the ball rolling..don't wait. and as far as the older guys go...seeing that it doesn't bother you so much...keep yourself open to possiblities. you never know what may happen! good luck!
Fall Date Ideas
Qualities to Look For in a Life Partner
Funny Costume Ideas For Couples
How to Boost Sex Drive
From Our Partners
Latest Love
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds