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You Asked: I'm Having an Affair

You Asked: I'm Having an Affair

Dear Sugar,

I have been having an affair with my boss for almost eight months. I've been married for five years, and we have a son together. My boss is married with two daughters, and his eldest is almost my age; yes he's 43 and I'm 25. My husband travels a lot for work, which is how I found myself in this predicament. I can't seem to get my boss out of my head or my heart. If I don't see him, I feel restless and I take out my anger on my son. My boss has a 101 reasons why we have to keep our affair a secret, even though he was the one who said he loved me first. Now I don't know what to do. I don't love my husband anymore, we haven't had sex in months, and I always have my boss on mind. Please help me, what should I do? — Having an Affair Hannah

To see DearSugar's answer


Dear Having an Affair Hannah —

I don't need to tell you that having an affair is wrong, so let's get you out of this situation ASAP. The main thing that alarms me here is the fact that you're taking your aggression out on your son. He is not at fault and neither is your husband's travel schedule. You've gotten yourself into a horrible love triangle, so take the anger you feel as a sign that you're in way too far over your head. The thing about affairs is that they typically never end well. He has made it very clear that nothing can come out of this relationship and you need to believe him. Although you no longer love your husband, it's time to end this affair.

First things first — you must quit your job and come clean with your husband. Perhaps he could make an effort to cut down his travel schedule so you can spend more time working on your marriage. Couples counseling would also be a great help, but at the end of the day, if you feel your relationship has run its course, it might be best for everyone involved if you go your separate ways. Be true to yourself Hannah, and remember that you deserve more than being someone's little secret. You have a family that I'm sure adores you, so take some time to yourself if you need it and reassess your priorities. I hope everything works out and good luck to you.


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