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You Asked: I'm Having a Flower Girl Dilemma — Help!

You Asked: I'm Having a Flower Girl Dilemma — Help!

Dear Sugar,

I'm getting married in December but I'm having a major flower girl dilemma. I had first asked my cousin's oldest daughter (she's 10) but when I recently visited her, she asked me if she could "pretty please be a junior bridesmaid" because she felt she was too old to be a flower girl. I said yes without thinking about who would replace her. My dad who has actually been very active in helping me plan my wedding is dating a very sweet woman with two young girls. I have had the chance to bond with them multiple times and I think her oldest (who is 4) would be perfect for the job, but there is a small problem — my mom would be heartbroken. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but at the same time I want to include my Dad and his girlfriend in the wedding, too. I'm totally torn, do you have any advice? — Frazzled Bride Brenda

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Dear Frazzled Bride Brenda,

While this is your big day, if asking your father's girlfriend's daughter to be your flower girl will cause more harm than good, it might behoove you to ask someone else or skip out on having a flower girl all together. Since you're clearly close with your dad and his girlfriend's family, perhaps you can ask them to participate in another aspect of your wedding — they could pass out programs or hold your bouquet while you take your vows.

If your heart is set on having her in your wedding, talk to you mom and ask her how she'd feel — you might just be making an assumption here. With that said, your wedding day is a big day for your parents, too, so if in fact she's not too keen on the idea, I advise you to not extend the offer. Your wedding is going to be stressful enough as it is, you don't need to add more pressure to yourself by worrying about your mom's hurt feelings. I hope it all works out at the end and congratulations!

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