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You Asked: I'm Stuck in a Rut

You Asked: I'm Stuck in a Rut


Dear Sugar,

I seem to be stuck in a rut. I have nothing really to wake up to in the mornings. I'm jobless, my social life is a wreck, I’ve never really dated, I’ve failed at my diet, and my family is driving me crazy — I just feel trapped. I sometimes cry about it, but I still do have a fight inside myself. I just don’t know where to start to get myself going again. I don’t have anything going on socially, so I thought a job would cure that. However, no employer wants to hire someone without any skills. How do I overcome this tough obstacle?

— Down and Out Dahlia

To see DearSugar's answer

Dear Down and Out Dahlia,

Sometimes it can seem impossible to see that light at the end of the tunnel during the dark periods in our lives, but I promise you, there is one. It sounds like you have the drive to pull yourself out of this, but you just need a plan. First off, no matter how it may seem for everyone else, getting a job is hard work — even if you have a lot of experience — but remember that persistence does pay off. When dropping off your resume or interviewing, check your low self-esteem at the door — employers are looking for confidence.

Outside of finding a job, I think it’s also important to start setting small goals to accomplish for yourself each day. For example, make a commitment to exercise 30 minutes a day, three times a week. Or aim to do something social once a week like going out for a coffee or heading to your local bookstore for a reading. You don’t even have to talk to anyone, but putting yourself out there is bound to make you feel more connected and far less trapped. You will get through this, Dahlia, just take it day by day and don’t give up on your job hunt. Good luck!

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