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You Asked: A Little Help With a New Sexual Experience

DearSugar --

I just started dating a wonderful guy who is extremely attentive in the bedroom and I want to reciprocate, but he is uncircumcised and I have no experience in that area. To be honest, I was uneasy even touching him and was a tad worried about how sex would be. Fortunately, it was absolutely fine -- amazing to be exact, so I guess I feel silly and a little guilty about my hang up. Any advice? ~ Eager Ellen

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Eager Ellen --

Sounds to me like you're a lucky girl: a wonderful guy who digs you and is attentive in the bedroom to boot. I'm glad you're the kind of woman who appreciates a good guy and a good lover, so let's see what we can do to help you feel more confident about pleasing him.

The difference, as you've encountered, involves foreskin. When a fella is circumcised, he's accustomed to exposure (brushing against fabric and such), and his penis -- sensitive as it is -- won't be as sensitive to the touch as his uncircumcised brother with a protective foreskin. If your guy seems particularly sensitive, let him direct the show a bit. That's never a bad thing, and most fellows aren't shy about it.

The foreskin contains its very own, super-special nerve receptors; you'll give him a lot of pleasure by gently stretching and sliding the foreskin over the head of his penis, though be careful not to pull or tug his foreskin too roughly. There's a learning curve for anything new, Ellen, so don't let yourself get too anxious or fretful. Uncircumcised or not, every fellow is especially sensitive just below the head on the underside, and you can't go wrong being friendly in that neighborhood.

As for oral sex, you might want to place your tongue into the foreskin and then swirl your tongue around the head, making a circle. Master this, and you master him, Eager Ellen. Also, with your fingers, try softly massaging the head through the foreskin, alternating that motion with some licking. You'll want to pull back the foreskin before rolling on a condom, too. This will help maximize his sensitivity.

Most of all, relax. Be patient. Things generally get better and better this way, for all of us, the more we know our partner. Enjoy him, Ellen. And enjoy yourself with him.

Ladies . . . Anyone else have some tips?


Join The Conversation
scolaccij scolaccij 9 years
I find it funny that it's off putting to women. I am circumcised, but I was born in the 80s in the US and half my friends aren't. It's really not that uncommon like it was in the 60s or something. You date someone my age and there's a 50/50 chance they're all there! Nothing to be scared of, it's MUCH simpler than a vagina (not knocking it, but seriously the foreskin almost disappears when he's hard, vaginas remain a cavernous wonderland of skin folds.
desertflower desertflower 9 years
My ex bf's were all circumcised but my new bf isn't and it was very strange at first and I thought it was weird looking, but now I love it. I think it just more fun for oral and sex. I also enjoy pulling on the foreskin!!
t0xxic t0xxic 10 years
Aww jinxy u say was. do tell
honeysugar28 honeysugar28 10 years
me too jinx
Jinx Jinx 10 years
The love of my life was uncut, it made no difference to me. Dear is right, they are way more sensitive, and I'd actually prefer uncut to circumcised now. ------------------------------------------------------ "If men could only know each other, they would neither idolize nor hate" Elbert Hubbard
LuckyGrl-83 LuckyGrl-83 10 years
oh boy.. are you in for a treat! my man is uncirc and he is by far the one who has enjoyed my escapades down there the most. he is very sensitive down there, sometimes a little tapping or gentle rubbing will do the trick! As for oral, I found taht his heightened sensitivity made my job easier and more comfortable :) Start on the gentle side and work your way up from there... starting too rough too soon might be painful for him :o Dear has some great suggestions so I would start there and then take it to the next level by exploring!! That's where the fun is :an Remember to have fun and be very attentive to what feels good for him... HAVE FUN!!! :dance: :wave:
smith3 smith3 10 years
There's good evidence to suggest that uncircumsized men are both more sensitive (in the way things feel to them -- not necessarily in bringing you flowers and chocolates), and more comfortable during intercourse -- the foreskin allows freer movement, and better, more consistent lubrication. So as long as he keeps it clean -- enjoy!
andaman andaman 10 years
on the other hand, men have armpit hair so maybe I'm being too hard.
andaman andaman 10 years
I don't like seeing womens' armpit hair in swimming pools. I know it's wrong. But i just don't like it. I think one should shave just to be considered when you are sharing a pool with other people.
M155-J4CK13 M155-J4CK13 10 years
I've never understood why something so natural grosses women out. Perhaps it's the same as men being grossed out by womens' armpit hair. We are so afraid of our own humanity.
Marci Marci 10 years
Great advice on all counts from Dear. I had a boyfriend who was uncircumsized too, and it was a little off-putting at first. Once you get used to it and give a few new things a try, you'll get over your shyness and uncertainty about it. Have fun! Your new guy sounds terrific!
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