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You Asked: Was It Me?

Dear Sugar,

I need some advice. I'm a 20-year-old student from London. I have many friends, but I've never had a serious boyfriend. Last weekend I met a guy at a club; he took my number and called me the next day to arrange a movie date that Wednesday. We went and everything went well. He said he'd call me about going out on Friday, but I haven’t heard from him since! I thought everything was going so well and then nothing! Is it me? — Confused Cassie

To see DearSugar's answer,


Dear Confused Cassie,

The annoying thing about dating is that there are no guarantees. When you're not in a committed relationship with someone, unfortunately anything goes. It's natural that your initial assumption is that there's something wrong with you, but that's not necessarily the case. There could be a number of reasons why he said he'd call and he didn't — I could speculate until I'm blue in the face, but at the end of the day, Cassie, if he didn't feel a connection with you, you're better off knowing now rather than six months down the road. Instead of taking this too personally, (I know, easier said than done) try to use it as ammo to get yourself back out there! Finding someone you want to have a relationship with won't happen overnight. You may even have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince, but don't give up; it'll happen eventually. Good luck!


Join The Conversation
karlotta karlotta 8 years
Don't worry, it's not you. Worst case scenario - it's just the TWO OF YOU; it doesn't mesh, and it's ok. And yes, guys do that all the time, and every time we wonder "is it me?!?!?!" and we'll never know, so learn not to give a rat's ass. The next one may roll himself on the floor and want you to bear his children within 20 minutes, and that's rather annoying too - so don't sweat it.
Beauty Beauty 8 years
People can be flaky! And besides, don't you want to date someone who would follow through? Don't get down on yourself. You're young and you have lots of friends, so you'll find a good egg sooner or later.
bransugar79 bransugar79 8 years
Ahh he's a guy they do this it's no big deal. I mean sure we all wish they would just sya what they're thinking and get on with it but don't let this bum you out. He may just not have gotten back to you yet or he's not all that interested and someone else will be soon. It's all ebb and flow the right guy will come along sometime and you won't have to ask this question again
MyPov MyPov 8 years
so frustrating but must come to terms with the fact that you may never know. he might not be that into you. or he could be insecure and think you're too good for him--i've had a male friend tell me this after he met a girl at a party and he only called her b/c i nagged him to.
MissChita MissChita 8 years
Sugar said it best!
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
He probably realized their was no chemistry.
sourcherry sourcherry 8 years
Like DS said, it could be an infinite number of reasons. But why are you giving this so much importance? It was just one date, with a guy you barely know, not even with someone you really like! Who cares? It's his loss! But since you asked... Maybe you're just too eager to be in a relationship, and were expecting too much for just one date. There's nothing more efficient at scaring a guy away! Anyway, you're just 20, you have plenty of time for something serious! Why over analyse things at this point? You should relax and just have fun, for now.
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