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You Asked: Will Moving In Ruin Everything?

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend of almost two years just got into law school and I couldn't be happier for him. For the past four months we have been discussing moving in together when both of our leases are up in October and the only uncertainty was where. Now that he knows where he'll be for the next three years, we've started to search for the right areas, prices, and furniture. He is very excited about this move, but I am freaking out. This is the most healthy relationship I have ever been in, I am extremely happy and in love, but what if moving in together ruins everything? I understand that it is the next step but I can't help but look seven months down the road. So much can happen over the next seven months and I'm starting to really freak myself out. Do you have any advice? — Tripping Tanna

To see DearSugar's answer

Dear Tripping Tanna,

Moving in with your boyfriend is a huge step so don't be so hard on yourself for freaking out a little! While it may seem like the time is right, I highly advise you to really discuss the seriousness of what you're doing. Make sure you're on the same page about money, your expectations for the future, how to handle arguments and house guests, how his study/school schedule will affect you, etc. While it might seem like all fun and games, living with someone takes a lot of compromise and understanding too.

You're right, seven months is a ways away, but keep it all relative Tanna. If you're paranoid that something is going to go wrong between now and then, you're going to taint this exciting time in your life. Talk to your boyfriend about the way you're feeling so he can help calm your nerves, and it also might be a good idea to talk to friends that have cohabited before. While living together means something different for every couple, they might have some words of wisdom for you.

You say everything is going well in your relationship so far so I'd just take a step back and trust that nothing will change for the worse — I'm sure living together will just bring you even closer together! Good luck.


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