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You Asked: My Boyfriend and I Are Opposites; Should We Break Up?

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend and I have been having some issues for a few years now. He is not attentive, he is an extreme control freak, and he is very judgmental. I am the complete opposite. I do anything to see people happy, I don't like to feel controlled, and I am the least judgmental person you'll ever meet. This is obviously tearing us apart — we argue five out of seven days of the week.

Recently, I have become increasingly interested in my co-worker. He is amazing, sweet, caring, attentive and funny. He has told me multiple times that he really likes me and would love to take me to dinner. He respects that I have a boyfriend and that I denied his dinner proposal, but in the back of my mind I really want to take him up on his offer. I love my boyfriend, but I am not in love with him at all anymore and I really think that this man can show me the world. What should I do? — Stuck Sophie

To see DearSugar's answer

Dear Stuck Sophie,

It sounds as though you're mentally checked out of your current relationship, and with good reason, he sounds like an unhealthy partner for you. I'm glad to hear that you haven't accepted your co-worker's advances while in a relationship with someone else, but the fact that you want to is just another indicator that it's time to end things with your boyfriend. Though opposites can attract, it doesn't sound like he is bringing anything positive to the table.

Once you sever ties and grieve your relationship, explore the possibility with this other man, but in the meantime, I don't see why you can't deepen the friendship you're developing. Breaking up is never easy and I know how tough of a position you're in, so the best advice I can give you is to follow your heart and gut instincts. Good luck to you.


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