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You Asked: Is My Boyfriend Making Me Fat?

Dear Sugar--

I am 19 years old and am in a stable relationship, but we have just moved to Europe together and I have really put on weight. When I ask my boyfriend if he can tell, he says yes, but he loves the extra meat on my bones. Now I just can't be motivated to lose weight. I am worried my weight gaining will spin out of control. I am now 5 ft 3 in tall and I weigh 125 lbs. Should I start dieting before I pick up more weight? Or should I stay the way I am now because it makes my boyfriend happy?

--Worried About my Weight Wendy

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Worried About my Weight Wendy --

First of all, you are NOT at all fat! Second of all, your weight is your business, so don't worry what your boyfriend or anyone else thinks about it. It's up to you to decide if you are happy with yourself or not. Your current weight isn't what's making your boyfriend happy -- YOU are making your boyfriend happy, and it sounds likes he's one of those amazing guys who loves you for the person you are on the inside as well as the outside.

Since you just moved to a new city, it will take a period of adjustment before you get back to your old healthy habits. Moving can be stressful and tiring, and it's easy to eat out a lot and not have time to exercise which can wreak havoc on your diet. Once you get settled in, you'll be more in control of your grocery shopping, your meals, and ways to stay fit.

If you continue to gain weight, and you're not happy about it, then I'd focus more on eating right and getting regular exercise. Just remember, the most important thing here is to be healthy and happy!


Join The Conversation
ThePerfectScore ThePerfectScore 9 years
Honey I've been to Europe and it's totally understandable to gain weight if you're in countries like France, Italy or Spain.. cuz the food there is to die for! And look at it this way if your man genuinely likes the extra weight then embrace it... But most importantly YOU have to like it for YOU.... but I have this romantic view of Europe where its all about eating and making love in a historic setting... so why not make use of the romance of Europe and burn off the extra calories... *wink*wink*
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
umm, except with grammar.
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
i think you're worry about nothing, hon.
Jinchu Jinchu 9 years
sweety as ridiculous as it sounds, i'm 5'3" and i weigh 145. everyone tells me i look 120 and i know im not fat. i weight lift and exercise a lot, so it all depends on your fat percentage not just your body mass index. for example, my bmi suggests im overweight, but my fat percentage is 22% (over 32% for women is unhealthy) it varies from person to person. if you are worried about your health, seek a physician or a personal trainer. they can tell you all that good stuff. eat well and exercise. need confidence on yourself? force the same line on yourself everyday when you look in the mirror "i am allll that" or something along those lines. hehe "i'm sexy" "i look good" "ive got a great body" and slowly progress... it sounds stupid i know! but trust me it works if you are also doing things to take care of yourself. do something that makes you feel good like hiking, cycling...etc. it all depends on YOUR happiness :]
pinupsweetheart pinupsweetheart 9 years
I think you are a perfect weight where you are at right now. Moving to a new city is crazy. When I moved from a different state fast food was all I ate for a couple weeks before I got really comfortable with my area and new house. Now I am starting to get back into my old groove. J Just try to maintain the weight you are at now by walking, taking dance lessions, etc.
facin8me facin8me 9 years
Wow Partysugar. I'd rather have the joys of sharing my life with somebody instead of obsessing over letting myself go. Plus, one of the bonuses of having a partner in life is that if either one of you gets a little out of shape, you can start playing tennis together, hike together, run together. I'm not knocking being single, but single because "boyfriends make people fat?"
facin8me facin8me 9 years
Just lonely was a little different. She entered a relationship with a man who was superficial from day one. Her husband was quite clear on how he felt about "big girls," and now that his wife gained weight he doesn't want anything to do with her. If just lonely received harsh advice, it was probably due to the fact that she knew what she was getting into when she married that jerk and people didn't feel a lot of sympathy for her. "Wendy" is in a situation where she has gained some weight and while not she is not overweight by any means, she feels self-conscious about it. Her conflict is that her boyfriend is happy about the way she looks, but she is not.
partysugar partysugar 9 years
I have always thought boyfriends make people fat. In a relationship it's easy to get too comfortable and forgot about taking care of yourself. Another plus of being single!
oklahoma oklahoma 9 years
Wow,, I'm surprised you guys weren't this supportive for JUST LONELY.. Awful remarks for her, and she's about the same physique.. I was worried when I seen this girls question, i thought, boy, these people will rip her apart.. Where were you when JUST Lonely needed help.. ?? !! ??
miss-matilda miss-matilda 9 years
Ok as another 5'3" person 125 is NO WAY fat. Infact its on the low end of what WW calls "healthy". So hush. Dont worry about gaining if after gaining you are 125 then you probably underweight which can be just as unhealthy as being over weight.
janemast janemast 9 years
you're not overweight at all! Don't worry about it!
hills hills 9 years
o and just do that while ur losing weight, once uve got the weight ur happy with its kl. If ur happy with ur weight theres no need to change, plus its not a diet its just healthyness, so dont become anorexic or anything.
hills hills 9 years
ur boyfriend may say it makes him happy but it obviously dosnt for u, id stop now with putting more weight on because it will just get worse, the more weight u put on the harder it wil b to lose and the harder it wil b to see the changes when u do start to lose weight. if u start losing it now u wil b happyier seeing ur self silm down and the changes. y dont u start by trying out having ur normal breakfast, lunch and dinner with cups of tea when u start wanting food or chew gum, but stop eating the latest being 7ish. that way ur stomache will settle and u will notice the differece feeling lighter and less bloated. dont b unhealthy just b careful. and obviously do some excerise like walking places or mayb some jogging. im done with the rambling now ;)
Princess-Rebecca Princess-Rebecca 9 years
You should do whatever makes you comfortable in your own skin. If you really think you will feel better after loosing some weight then I don't see any hamr in doing so. It seems like you bf truly loves you so he really won't make of fuss of you loosinf some weight angain.
bigestivediscuit bigestivediscuit 9 years
That totally happened to me! I moved to Europe and after meeting my boyfriend, I gained more weight (it was about 7-10 lbs, but on my frame that seems and feels like a lot) than I ever have in my life! I think it was the combination in change of diet and also because we were so happy and carefree together, I ate more than I did when I was by myself or even with my friends. I also ate a load of yummy biscuits that we didn't have in the states. My boyfriend too, said he loved the bit extra weight, but that should make you feel great about yourself! However, like you, I *didn't* feel so great b/c I wasn't used to it and I started exercising more and changing my diet a bit (NOT restricting calories, per se, but perhaps you are more inclined to sweets and pastries in Europe? I don't know which part of Europe you're in) ... I'm back to my normal weight now. But really, don't worry about it, because like everyone else says, you've got the perfect body now, and it's reallly important for YOU to feel comfortable in your own skin. I highly doubt your weight gain will spin "out of control"!!! Don't worry!!! :)
Marci Marci 9 years
The weight you're at is perfect for your height. But I also know that we all have our weight that we're most comfortable at, and if you've gone a few pounds over that then you feel it. But the thing to remember is that we can't ever blame anyone else if we gain weight. No one is force feeding us, so if we overeat, it's our own fault.
rubialala rubialala 9 years
It is harder to loose weight though if you know your significant other doesn't mind.
A_Kat A_Kat 9 years
Yup. You are at perfect fit for your height and age. To tell you the truth I'm a little jealous! :) I'm almost there though!
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
i don't see how your bd saying he likes the way you look is making you fat. if you don't like how you look or how you feel it's you that need to do something, not him that needs to say somethng. what is your relationship history? do you like critical men or a challenge?
girlboy girlboy 9 years
Jennifer_2sugar Jennifer_2sugar 9 years
I think that her weight is perfect for her. I think that she would be fine and she is NOT overweight at all. :scale:
Masqueraded_Angel Masqueraded_Angel 9 years
125 lbs? Girl, you're perfect! :) Bottom line: Figure out if your weight gain bothers you. Like Dear said, your bf loves you for YOU, not your weight. If it bothers you, drink more water, buy salads instead of cheeseburgers, fruit instead of soda, yada yada yada. But of course, moving DOES cause a lot of stress, so I wouldn't blame you at all for gaining a couple of pounds.
vanyvrgs vanyvrgs 9 years
I agree don't worry about it for now -- 125 is great. One question I have is how much weight have you gained and in what period of time, since it could also be a medical problem. Otherwise, enjoy Europe with your boyfriend... that sounds like fun!
jhuck jhuck 9 years
If you're not happy with yourself, then do this for yourself. Give yourself time to adjust to the move, and look into the food options of the area, and your exercise options there as well. As someone who's 5'4 and 120lbs, I'm telling you right now that there is no way you're fat. I just wouldn't jump into something like a diet. Try and get healthier first.
zc zc 9 years
you're not neccesarily fat, but when people move away from home the do generally gain weight...i wouldn't worry you just ahve to adjust and let your body
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