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You Asked: My Friend Is Flirting With My Husband

Dear Sugar,

I have a girl friend who has never really had the best of luck when it comes to relationships. She has ridiculously high standards which end up scaring men off. Over the past couple of weeks, I've noticed that she's been calling my husband. Now, my husband has helped her out before by fixing her computer at our apartment, and since then, she's been flirting with him! At her birthday party last week, she even tried to feed him chips in front of me! At my son's birthday party, she was throwing inappropriate looks at him, to the point where my mother noticed. For Christmas, she wants to buy him a shirt and even texted him to find out what size he wears. There are a couple of more things I could bring up, but I think I'll stop there.

My husband is by no means attracted to her whatsoever, in fact he's quite annoyed by all this. I told him to say something to discourage her the next time she calls, and he has no problem with this. The problem is, I know if I speak up and say something, she'll deny everything and make me look like the stupid one for "assuming" something is going on.
We are supposed to be hosting a Christmas party at my apartment this Sunday. I'm afraid that I'll see more of her antics towards him at the party in front of all my family members, and I'll be devastated. At this point, I think she's desperate for male attention, so she's latching on to the first person she sees which happens to be my husband. We need to nip this in the bud immediately, but how do I go about doing this without offending her?

—Completely Annoyed Anna

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Completely Annoyed Anna,

I don't blame you for being upset with your friend's behavior. As innocent as her flirting is in her mind, it's bothering both you and your husband, and she needs to know that. It's time to tell her how uncomfortable she makes you both feel and how inappropriate her behavior is. The best thing to do is be open and honest with her before you blow up at her. She needs to know that she's crossing the line and if she gets mad and tried to deny it, simply point out specific examples. You've got to set some ground rules for her and let her know that contacting your husband is just NOT okay. I don't think you should worry about offending her because if she's a true friend, she'll understand how you feel and she'll tone down her inappropriate behavior. If your little chat doesn't help, this woman clearly isn't as good of a friend as you thought.


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