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You Asked: My Friends Have Changed

Dear Sugar,

I have a tight-knit group of girlfriends that I have been close to for the past two years. They've been a great support to me during this time, but lately something is different. I'm not sure if I've changed or if they have, but we just don't seem to get along anymore. They've been really rude and angry to me lately for no reason. It's like they're ganging up on me, and I keep getting the feeling that they're talking about be while I'm not there.

I have been very busy between work and school, and I haven't been able to spend much time with them. They've been very judgmental of me, and there have even been a few incidents when I caught them avoiding me or ignoring my calls. I'm really sick of this, but I don't have many other people I can turn to. I miss the way things were, but I don't want to subject myself to this anymore. What should I do?

— Abandoned Alicia

To see Dear Sugar's answer


Dear Abandoned Alicia,

I wish I could give you a reason for why you're friends have suddenly turned their backs on you, but unfortunately, it's impossible to guess. It's not all too uncommon for friends to drift apart as life gets in the way. I'd let your friends know how much you care for them and how their actions are making you feel. Make sure they understand that you want to be spending time with them, it's just that your schedule is really overwhelming and ask them to bare with you. Try planning girls' nights in advance — throw a movie party or plan a taco night.

If they continue to treat you like this, you might want to let them go. Friends are meant to be there for you during the good times and the bad, they're not there to make you feel guilty or bad about yourself. Perhaps time will make them see their immaturity, but it may not be worth waiting around to find out. Making new friends is always challenging, but it's also completely rewarding!


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