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You Asked: Should I Have Been Honest With Him After All?

Dear Sugar,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for five months. I recently told him about how I cheated on my past two boyfriends and he flipped. He told me that he no longer trusts me and wished that I hadn't told him because now he's always going to wonder if I'm cheating on him. I just wanted to be honest with him before he heard it from my friends, but was that the right thing to do? I'm so confused! I've never given him any reason not to trust me but I feel like I just dug my own grave. Is this just a harmless misunderstanding that will make us stronger or is this a deal breaker?
— Regretful Regina

To see Dear Sugar's answer


Dear Regretful Regina,

I'm a big proponent of honesty, so I don't think you should regret your decision in the slightest bit. Since you've given him no reason to distrust you, something tells me that he's been cheated on before, which is making him guarded towards you. You're still getting to know one another so explain to him that the only reason you told him was to set an honest precedent for your relationship. Sure, I can see why your boyfriend might be a little wary about your cheating past, but the fact that you were upfront and honest about it should give him some reassurance that you learned your lesson from your mistakes.

Only time will tell if this will make your relationship stronger or tear you apart, but Regina, I hope this doesn't deter you from being honest about your past, your feelings, or your desires. Although this was an isolated incident, he could be using this as an excuse to break up so proceed with caution and I hope it all works out for you. Good luck.


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