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You Asked: Should I Leave Him?

Dear Sugar,

I have been in a relationship with an individual who is away for six months out of the year. Last January I found out that he was seeing someone when he was away. I spoke with the girl, and she confessed that they were sleeping together, he, on the other hand, denied it. Then he went away again in November, and I still see on the phone bills that she is calling him. I want to leave him, but he begs me to stay. My question is, should I leave him or stay? He promises that he'll stop and says that he won't be going away anymore.

— Fed Up Fiona

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Fed Up Fiona,

If you were married or if it was just the issue of him being gone all the time, I might suggest that you try to work it out; but, instead we're talking about your boyfriend, who you've caught cheating on you and then lied about. I don't think you should invest anymore time or energy into someone that you know you don't want to be with and who continues to hurt you. He certainly hasn't done much to earn your trust or respect. Furthermore, a relationship where one person is gone for prolonged periods of time is hard enough even if it's built on trust, which obviously this one is not. I know you deserve better than this, and you will be far happier with someone who you want to be with and who treats you with love and respect.


Join The Conversation
caseyjay430 caseyjay430 9 years
do you even have to ask this question?? hello...leave!
Green Green 9 years
hello? NO, BYE BYE
amanda-lee90479 amanda-lee90479 9 years
I'm in a similar situation, except I see him every day of the year.
Jeny Jeny 9 years
uh hellooo!!!! He slept with another girl and lied about it.. leave him.. NOW
TASTEthiss TASTEthiss 9 years
This is a joke right? In the time it took you to write this question, you couldve already been moving on.
AujahAcorn AujahAcorn 9 years
i think you know the answer to this.
kh61582 kh61582 9 years
Leave and if he means what he says, that he won't leave anymore and he'll stop seeing her, then he'll make an effort to show you that once your gone. If you believe him at that point then that's a different story but I don't see how you could ever trust this guy again so you're probably better off without him.
Jack-D Jack-D 9 years
If you have to ask, you already know the answer. Leave.
emmyanne emmyanne 9 years
Some women think so little of themselves that they think they cant find anything better than a cheating Piece OF SH*T. He cheated, he will cheat again, but be better at hiding it this time. You need to leave, unless you think you deserve this treatment?
Le-Luxe Le-Luxe 9 years
WHA? run as fast as you can! why would you want to stay with a liar AND a cheat?! You deserve WAYYYY better. Nothing will change. Please dont fool yourself.
TidalWave TidalWave 9 years
He can SAY that all that stuff, but obviously his behavior has not reflected it.
kgtg1 kgtg1 9 years
Leave! On another note, Sarah, lady-balls has my office cracking up :)
Belle1031 Belle1031 9 years
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. If you chose to stay with him when he hurts you again (which he will) it will only have been your fault.
mlen mlen 9 years
leave! if he really is serious about changing and wanting you to stay then he'll do everything in his power to change and win you back. but you don't have to sit around waiting- leave!
Advah Advah 9 years
I strongly believe everyone deserves a chance because people can change, but I can't get over the fact he also lied about it. Leave him, you deserve being with someone who respects you.
robins robins 9 years
dump his cheating ass!!
nourche nourche 9 years
WHAT? Why would you even consider leaving this man?! He sounds wonderful...
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 9 years
LOL @ Courtneyh's post. :ROTFL: I vote to leave.
courtneyh courtneyh 9 years
sounds more like a relationSHIT
bikinib7 bikinib7 9 years
Please leave him. If it happened once, it will happen again. It's bad enough that you have pretty much had to ASK him to admit cheating and then to cease contact with woman he cheated on you with. You deserve better!
Jude-C Jude-C 9 years
Leave. Leave. Leave. Leaveleaveleaveleaveleave!
frieddumpling frieddumpling 9 years
Listen to your head --> LEAVE this loser NOW! You had to find out from the other woman and STILL he doesn't have the decency or the respect for you to admit his cheating remorse...NOTHING...don't be a doormat! You deserved to be treated better! :) Trust me...your life will be MUCH better without him (or ppl like him) in it!
jennifer76 jennifer76 9 years
Let's do a why to stay/why to leave list here... Why To Leave *He cheated on you *He cheated on you, not once but over a long period - emotional AND sexual involvement *He lied about it *He's still in contact with the person he cheated with Why To Stay *He asked you to (that's all you said) Seems pretty clear. Move on! Find someone who respects you and treats you the way you deserve. :hug:
luvmycpt luvmycpt 9 years
this is easy. LEAVE
girlfriday girlfriday 9 years
You deserve so so much better than this. Please don't sell yourself short. You are worth being treated well.
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