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You Asked: Should I Try an Online Dating Service?

Dear Sugar,

I'm thinking about using the dating service, It's Just Lunch, but I'm worried that I'll be the youngest person there. I just moved to a new city after graduating from college, I have a relatively busy job and haven't had any luck meeting guys. I'm only 24 and I feel like using a dating service is a total cop out, so should I keep trying other avenues, or should I just go for it? — Timid Tammy

To see DearSugar's answer

Dear Timid Tammy,

There are so many stigmas attached to dating services, and while older people tend to be the ones using them, I think you should totally go for it! You never know who could be at the opposite side of the lunch table, and at the end of the day, what do you really have to lose?

If It's Just Lunch doesn't work out for you, tell your friends and family members that you're looking to meet someone, they might have the perfect person in mind. I know it can be hard to meet new people, but if you keep your eyes open and your available light on — especially in unexpected places like the grocery store, your local coffee shop, or the gym — you might be pleasantly surprised to find that guys are out there looking for love too. Good luck!


Join The Conversation
sammyhalliwel sammyhalliwel 8 years
If you're looking for an India marriage or India site join maybe you will find you're dream date there and try online dating now.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
Is this a craftily placed advert I wonder? Why do we need to know the name of the site? Do whatever you want, it's your life...
sprinkibrio sprinkibrio 8 years
Do online dating, girl!!! I have also heard bad things about IJL and I can't imagine ever spending that amount of money. I would recommend I met my boyfriend there and it was extremely fast and easy. The more pricey sites like eharmony are better since they tend to weed out the cheapos and the players. is also good if you are not necessarily looking for anything serious. I also second I was a part of a rock climbing group for a while and if you find a good group you actualy meet quality people.
designerel designerel 8 years is free. There are all kinds of ages and ethnicities on that site. Check it out!
likethedirection likethedirection 8 years
I met my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years on Yahoo Personals and my friend just married her Yahoo Personals find. For younger people, I think the cheaper the site, the better.
TidalWave TidalWave 8 years
goldilocks0078: glad you like it! it really is more like joining a club or organization because there is no pressure and you all already share a main interest! (and it's free in most cases)
veda6 veda6 8 years
Another vote for e-harmony here! Just because you've got a profile up on an online dating site doesn't mean you're not open to meeting people in real life situations, not harm putting it up there :)
goldilocks0078 goldilocks0078 8 years
TidalWave-I went to and it was amazing! I love the website, and it's a great way to meet people (or find a guy!) without feeling awkward or desperate. Timid Tammy-There's nothing wrong with online dating sites. There's a reason they are so popular--they work! I've never personally tried one, but I've heard good things. There is kind-of a stigma attached to them, but I think they're becoming more acceptable now. I don't think there's any shame with looking for love online.
gibbylet gibbylet 8 years
I don't know why more people don't use I have met a number of friends on there, as well as my husband - it lets you answer all sorts of interesting questions and then ranks you as both a friend/relationship against other people on the network to determine what you have in common. I think its amazingly accurate because I've met friends who I have tons in common with, and my exhusband, and ex bf and my current husband all rated 85% or higher on it as likely to suit for me. (and as Im still friends with all of them I agree!)
princess_eab princess_eab 8 years
In my book, any way you can meet new people is *not* a copout - though you may find it's not exactly your thing in the end. My sister met her husband on EHarmony, which I think is pretty cool. Internet and blind dates *never* worked for me, but everyone has to find out for themselves...
RunninginBoston RunninginBoston 8 years
Many of those dating services are scams. Just Lunch, Lunch Dates, etc. The BBB is chocked full of complaints from people about them. They are expensive, don't actually match you with people based on the profile, claim they've made matches for you when they haven't, etc. They also use really aggressive sales tactics and there are complaints they purposely market to vulnerable people (ie, newly divorced or widowed). I would definitely do due dilligence with consumer groups and find out if the company is legit before handing over any money.
stargazer25 stargazer25 8 years
You can try It's free. I've used it and met a couple of great guys and a couple of weirdos (in no particular order). Just like dating via meeting people out and about or through a friend, if you go out on dates with guys you meet on there, there will be good and bad. Just trust your instincts about people.
cptnruthless cptnruthless 8 years
I wouldnt suggest it's just lunch, but dont worry about being "too young" for online dating - it's just another avenue to meet people. Plus, dating older men means their more mature/ready to settle down - instead of meeting someone your age at a bar who's just looking for a hookup. I would also suggest that since you're new to the area, make an effort to get involved. Like animals? volunteer at your local pet shelter/vet. Like astronomy? volunteer at a local observatory. This way, you meet someone who has the same interests as you!
lindssaurussss lindssaurussss 8 years
its not a cop out. i tried because i live in a small family town and no singles around. sometimes online dating helps. I had some good and bad experiences with this site showed dating wasnt for the sensitive type. and this isnt really much of a site if your looking for relationships more for if you want to date more than one person. some men i still talk to as friends but some of the other men burned me. but would i do it again? probubaly
TinaDenali TinaDenali 8 years
As for your question - I don't think there is an sort of age associated with online dating. I found my husband on almost four years ago when I was 19. As for the site - I would totally shop around, that price tag is just silly. As I said, I used and like Spectra, it was free to make a profile and I never ended up paying anything because my husband e-mailed me first. So, that was a great deal, I think! :)
bluebellknoll bluebellknoll 8 years
I would suggest you don't use It's Just Lunch. My friend did a few years ago and hated it. She was in her mid-30s and said that all the guys she was set up with were at LEAST 10 years older than her. She also said that her dates were dull and there were obvious reasons why they were still single. Anyhoo, I like tidalwave's suggestion. Being new to the area, it sounds like you could make some friends on that website.
Seka21 Seka21 8 years
Is there ay way you an try one date and now pay like an anual free? If you an.. give it a go.. if you feel uncomfortable you know its not for you, I think that when you stop looking for love you find it. Just relax and learn to love your single self and youll be suprised how things just happen naturally. 24 is hardly an age to panic...
skigurl skigurl 8 years
these posters are commenting on the actual dating site you referred to - i'm not familiar with that site or others, as i've never online dated, but i'm going to respond as though you can afford it and have your reasons for trying it - 1) you might be the youngest one, or a younger one, and i doubt many 24 year old guys are paying that much to date online...but maybe you're mature and like a guy who is a little older...if not, then go to a bar to pick up a 24 year old guy...2) don't worry about the stigma...if you have the money, do it. it's no cop out. it doesn't mean you can't pursue other avenues like JUST LIVING YOUR LIFE, for instance...
Spectra Spectra 8 years
Hmmm...why does it cost so much? It sounds like kind of a scam to me too. I met my husband online on a site that matched up people with similar interests/values. I actually didn't have to pay anything to put a profile on there; I think you only have to pay if you want to send emails to people on the site. Since my husband emailed me first, he's the one that actually paid the $20 or whatever it was. He claimed it was a lot cheaper than going out to a bar and buying $5 beers and hoping to meet someone there.
telewyo telewyo 8 years
I looked into It's Just Lunch as well because I thought it might be safer than online and the cost was crazy! They get you in there and ask you tons of questions and really sell it to you before they will tell you it's well over $1000 (I don't remember exactly how much but i think like $1500)! Then i read online reviews that said you don't even get that much for that price and there are no guarantees so they could set you up on 10 dates with people that you totally don't match with and then your contract would be over but they set you up so you don't get any money back (it's not their fault you're too picky). I still seriously considered it (they are really good salespeople) but luckily around that time I got an eharmony thing to try them for $30 for 3 months and I figured I could handle wasting that much instead of $1500 if it didn't work out. I went though the matching stuff with maybe 60-70 people, emailed with 15-20, met 5-10 in person and then met the perfect guy that I'm still with! I would try the meetup thing or taking some classes and getting involved and then eharmony before I paid that much for a service.
TidalWave TidalWave 8 years
oh is not a dating site! it's just a way for people with the same interests to meet each other. i'm a member of a web design one, diy/sewing one, adventurers (outdoorsy stuff) one and new to the area one (focused for 20-30 year olds).
TidalWave TidalWave 8 years
Try; there are tons of meetups in lots of cities. some for singles, some not and you'll definitely find a group that perks your interest.
HayleyStark HayleyStark 8 years
I heard some terrible things about It's Just Lunch. It's basically a scam with lots of women and not enough men and the fees are ridiculous. I don't do online dating so I don't know if another service is good, but I thought I should share what I've heard about that one.
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