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You Asked: Should We Get Back Together?

Dear Sugar,

I recently started med school and within a month, I unexpectedly found myself falling for a new friend. After the first night we got together, he told me that he actually was still involved with an ex-girlfriend. They had broken up several months before due to the distance but had continued to visit one another and hook up. I told him we could date on the condition that he ended things with her for good, which he willingly did.

While we were dating, he still kept in touch with her and they continued to visit each other. We constantly argued about this and one night when I was drunk, I broke up with him. I called the next morning, hoping to get back together, but he said he decided to get back with his ex. I accepted his decision and was heartbroken, but we continued our friendship.

Last weekend, he wanted to hang out with me and he showed up with his girlfriend. I was shocked. When he called me later that night, in a drunken state, I told him how upset I was. He said he still had feelings for me despite the fact that three weeks had passed since our break up.

After that weekend, I said I needed some space from our friendship. He told me he had broken up with her and that we should get back together. I'm really confused about what I should do. I don't think it's a good idea to get back together with him, but I still care for him and I know he cares for me. Should I give him another chance, or should I just cut him out my life?

—Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place,

It's too bad that this guy is so indecisive. It can't feel good that he's constantly going back and forth between you and his ex. I'm reluctant to tell you to get back together with him because while you two were dating, he was still in love with this other woman and seeing her when he told you he wouldn't. Just because they broke up, what's to say that he doesn't still have feelings for her now?

If I were you, I'd stick to what your gut is telling you and give this relationship some space so that he can get his feelings straight. He's got to regain your trust and treat you with respect before you should even consider being his girlfriend. You should make sure that his feelings for you are genuine and that he's not wanting to be with you just because you live so close (unlike his ex). Wait a month or so, and if you continue to still have feelings for each other, then you can think about giving it another chance.


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