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You Asked: Are We Relationship Material?

Dear Sugar,

I met this great guy a month ago and he is truly wonderful. We had our first kiss on Valentine's Day (yeah, I know, kind of cliche but I don't care!) and ever since we have been going out on dates. We hold hands, hug, kiss, hook up, but we haven't yet had sex. Anyway, I met his parents a week ago, we had dinner at their house, and they acted like they've known me for years (mind you, this was only the second time meeting them!). He has even told me that he wants to spend more quality time with me and he hates leaving me. But here's the thing, we aren't necessarily boyfriend/girlfriend. My question is when would it be appropriate to bring up this topic with him? Is it too soon to label our relationship?
— Curious Cassie

To see Dear Sugar's answer


Dear Curious Cassie,

Since you've been hanging out for two months now, and you've met the parents on more than one occasion, I think you have every right to inquire about the status of your relationship. It sounds like he's pretty open with his feelings towards you, telling you that he wants to spend more quality time together and getting upset when you're apart, so the next time you hang out, bring it up! If you're not comfortable saying something direct, say something flirty and cute like, "So, what are you telling your parents about us?" or "Are you bringing any other girls home to meet your family like you have me?" Your questions are legit, but if you ask them in a cheeky manor, it will be much easier for him to answer.

The thing about relationships is that they are all different. There's no right or wrong time for couples to label their status, meet the family, move in together, even get engaged. You must follow your own feelings, trust your gut and do whatever works for you. It sounds like things are progressing well so keep up the good work and keep the lines of communication open. Starting off your relationship on the honest foot will lead to a good foundation later down the road.


Join The Conversation
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
If you want to know where you stand, then do talk about it. Assuming something that might not be just wastes your time.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
Tidalwave- I always thought the same thing but I guess it means different things to different people. Hooking up can be heavy making out, oral sex, fondling and to some people it still means sex.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
I'd say if you've met his parents that he's pretty serious about you. Think about it you aren't going to bring home 4 girls to meet your parents only one really special one. If it were me I'd ask him now so you know what you're getting in to. You can also tell him that it's okay if you aren't but you just wanted to know.
cvandoorn cvandoorn 9 years
Hmm...i've never had to DTR. With my ex boyfriends and my current one, we were relationship material/a couple from the get go. Just enjoy it for now, stop thinking about it. Who knows, maybe he'll one day introduce you as "my girlfriend" and there you go, question answered.
Marci Marci 9 years
Why can't you just go with things? I know it's my own sex, but I notice that women are always pushing the issue for the next thing instead of just being happy with what they have. It's a month. And it sounds like things between you are going fantastically. At some point, your "title" will be defined, through an introduction to somebody or something along those lines. In the meantime, just enjoy the wonderful guy you're with.
TidalWave TidalWave 9 years
what does "hook up" mean? i always thought it implied sex.
karlotta karlotta 9 years
How about you don't ask yourself any questions and just keep living this great relationship the way it seems to have been going? As far as I can tell, you already ARE boyfriend/girlfriend. A confirmation or label really isn't necessary! If I were you, I would just start referring to him as "my boyfriend" and see how that goes. If you feel that way, and he seems to feel that way too, it will come out naturally and you won't need to have a sit down to clear things up. If you bring it up in a nice sentence, like "you're the nicest boyfriend I've ever had", I don't think he's going to jump to the ceiling and wonder who the heck you think you are, calling him your boyfriend! To me, asking this type of questions is kind of like when a guy asks if he can kiss you. It takes all the natural out of it - and it's not like you'd be going around saying he's your fiancé. Don't think about those things too much. Just live them!
jaxon jaxon 9 years
I agree with workin9t05 Same sitch happened to me. It's only been a month enjoy this period don't be so quick to put the handcuffs on. Give it another month and then take dear's advice about bringing it up
linb linb 9 years
"But here's the thing, we aren't necessarily boyfriend/girlfriend." What makes you think that you are not boyfriend/girlfriend? From what I read above, this sounds like the beginning of a typical relationship. Give it some time.
workin9to5 workin9to5 9 years
It's only been one month, not two. I'd wait another month before asking these questions. Not because he doesn't seem into you, because he definitely does. But I have been seeing an issue with my girl friends lately. I hope you'll let me run on a tangent here...but I think it is related. You need to set the pace of the relationship. Here's what I mean. Some of my friends will see that the guy is ALLL about them from the get-go. Always wants to hang out. Has her meet his parents, sister, brother, coworkers, etc. My friends are like "This is great!!" And it is great...but then the girl gets carried away along with him. And they see each other way too much, too soon. Cut to a few weeks later. He's not calling as much. He stops calling all together. She's like, "WTF!! He was so into this? What happened?" Girls, remember, some guys get easily infatuated and when they like you, they can get super involved quickly. You need to slow things down and set the pace or else you'll get burned. Find other things to do sometimes with your friends, by yourself, with your family, whatever. Don't accept every date he asks you on. Have a life. Don't let things move at warp speed just because he seems ready for that. He's probably not actually ready. Just what I've seen from my friends. Every super fast relationship I've witnessed has fallen apart quickly. I know they sometimes work out, though, and the guy is with you for good from the start--but does it really hurt to still have your own life and not see him 5 days a week this early on? My two cents.
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