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You Asked: What Can I Do About My Low Sex Drive?

Dear Sugar--

For the past year I have lost most all of my interest in sex. The strange thing is I am only 20 years old.

I have been with my boyfriend for the past four years and I love him deeply and everything is fine between us. We don't fight often and I still find him very attractive. The sex is great, when we have it. I guess I don't find sex necessary in my relationship any more or I don't consider it as important as I used to.

My question is, is this normal for a 20 year old woman not to have a strong sexual drive? Is there any way to fix it? What is going on? I hope you can help.

--Not-Into-It Natalie

To hear DEARSUGAR's Answer,

Dear Not-Into-It Natalie--

Having a low sex drive might not be ideal, but it is totally normal. The good new is that it sounds like things are going really well for you and your long-term boyfriend, and you are able to show each other love in different ways.

You said the sex is good, but since it only happens few and far between, something tells me your head is elsewhere. Are you stressed out about work, money, friends or family? Are you exercising and eating right?

Chances are this is affecting your boyfriend as well, so be honest with him. Work together and maybe he can help think of new ways to excite you or re-connect as a couple. Movies and magazines makes us think that we should be having sex 24-7, but for most couples who work hard and have passed the honeymoon phase, 1-3 times a week is usually a more realistic goal.

Try to not be so hard on yourself. Over thinking this situation could backfire and end up being even more of a turn-off for you. I have a feeling this is just a phase, so give yourself a break from all the worry and you'll probably get back on track in no time. Good luck Natalie!


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