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You Asked: What If We Have Sex Just Once?

Dear Sugar,

I am happily married with children — and have a huge crush on an old boyfriend. We would never date again. We would not even have an affair, but I have been toying with the idea of wanting to just have one sex session with him. What do you think?

— Thinking About it Abigail

To see DearSugar's answer

Dear Thinking About it Abigail —

What do I think??? Sister, I don't think this would be a ONE TIME "sex session," do you? I'm not sure what your definition of an affair is, but having sex with someone else IS an affair. Any way that you cheat on your husband and go against the vows you made on your wedding day constitutes an affair, or at least in my book.

Your feelings and desires for this old flame are by no means wrong, but because of your commitment to your present husband, you CANNOT follow through with them unless you are willing to give up your marriage. If your eyes are wandering towards other men, it sounds like something is lacking in your marriage. Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Maybe he can help give you what you need emotionally and/or sexually.

If you have this one time sex session, you might be risking breaking up your marriage. What if your husband finds out? How would you feel if he wanted a divorce? How will you explain that to your children? If you are unsatisfied or unhappy with your marriage in any way, then you need to address that issue first. Have you considered marriage counseling? I would advise you not to get involved with another man before you address your issues - it'll only make matters worse. Good luck Abigail.


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