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You Asked: Where Are All the Men?

Dear Sugar,
After over 25 years of marriage and raising our children, my now ex-husband decided he was ready to trade in the old wife for a newer model. I decided that if he was not happy and wanted to leave, he had to be the "man" and tell me. He did, but after all those years of being in a relationship, I feel older and far less desirable. I've been told I'm attractive (by my girlfriends and their parents and male friends) but it would be nice to hear it from a man. Better yet, it would be most satisfying to be made to feel attractive by a man! I've tried online dating sites but they have all been very disappointing. When I do go out, the only males that show me any attention are 15 to 20 years younger than me. Maybe I should be flattered, but I really just think they see me as their "fair game" that might just be desperate enough to go home with them.

So the "boys" are out there, but where are all the men? I know men my age are trying to prove they are still good enough to get the younger "girls," but I guess I have placed the double standard on myself to actually think a younger man is really interested in me. I would love to just have someone in my life to share a social life and have fun. Is this too much to ask?
— Ready to Start Over Sandy

To see Dear Sugar's answer


No, it's not too much to ask Sandy. E. Jean actually said it best, it's all about seizing the opportunity. Check out her list of 36 great places to meet men — if you're approachable and get yourself out there, it'll just be a matter of time before you meet someone that sparks your interest.

The fact that you're assuming that these younger men are just trying to take advantage of you makes me think your self-esteem needs a little boost. Go do something nice for yourself, buy a new sexy shirt, work out or get a facial — just do anything that lifts your spirits, and while doing so, make sure to keep your eyes open for potential suitors. Sometimes it's the ones that are right under our noses that turn out to be real keepers! You might not meet the man of your dreams tomorrow, but remember, you're not the only one whose looking to meet a quality partner to spend time with so don't give up.


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