I have been with the same guy for five years and never once got pregnant and we have unprotected sex all the time. Why have I not gotten pregnant? I'm worried that I can't have kids, and if not, what do I do? I really want to be a mom.
—Not Prego Patty
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Dear Not Prego Patty,
I totally understand your concern, and there could be several reasons why you haven't gotten pregnant. I assume that you weren't on any kind of hormonal birth control for those five years, but if you were on something like Depo-Provera beforehand, sometimes it can take a while for your body to get back into its normal cycle. If you were not using anything like that, it could be that you haven't had sex on your fertile days. An egg needs to be present in order for you to get pregnant, so if you had sex way before or after ovulation, his sperm wouldn't have an egg with which to unite.
Age and health matter too. If you or your boyfriend has a chronic illness, or if you are over 35, you may have a more difficult time conceiving. There's also a possibility that there's a problem with either your fertility or your guy's sperm. Before jumping to any conclusions, the best plan of action is for both of you to see a doctor. They can ask questions and do tests to help you figure out what may be preventing you from having a baby. They'll also be able to guide you in what the necessary steps would be once you figure out what's going on, and if you do figure out you can't get pregnant, please remember adoption is always an option. I hope this helps. Good luck Patty.