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You Asked: Why Does He Never Get Jealous?

Dear Sugar,

I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. We have been dating almost five months now, and he has lived in California the entire time. We met a week before he left and he swept me off my feet. He has already come to see me three times since he has moved and he dedicates all his free time to me. But something just seems to be missing.

I party all the time and he never cares. Guys have slept in my bed (crashing after going out), and he doesn't even flinch. All my friends are guys and it doesn't bother him at all. If I put him on hold to talk to one of my friends here, he doesn't care. I can go to the club and he totally doesn't care. He says that when you like someone you should trust them. But I just feel like I can't get a rise out of him regardless of what I do. I feel like he has no heart. He always tells me how much he likes me and I know he never treats me bad in anyway but I still feel like I need some emotion from him. I want him to need me. I always fight with him over this whole situation, but we never see eye to eye. Am I the wrong one in this situation?

I feel like I have the most amazing guy in the world and I'm still not happy. I feel like there's something missing, and maybe it's his heart. Does he not truly care about me because he never gets mad. I just feel crazy. Any advice? — Pushing His Buttons Becky

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Pushing His Buttons Becky,

You say you have the most amazing boyfriend in the world, but it's pretty clear you aren't all that happy with him. I am assuming that you are having a long distance relationship right now, so it sounds as though your boyfriend is just trusting you, versus not caring about you or what you're doing. If you are simply trying to push your boyfriend's buttons, stop it because it isn't working, and in turn, it's making you upset.

Something tells me you have had a prior relationship that was packed with drama and unnecessary arguing which is why you feel like something is missing with this relationship. In order to have a successful long distance relationship, you have to trust each other. If you need more fire from him, or if you want him to be jealous of the way you live your life, this man just might not be the right match for you.

From the sounds of it, he cares a great deal about you and is letting you live your life the way you wish while he is gone, so you might want to be careful about what you wish for. Measuring your boyfriend's feelings by how jealous he gets is not the answer here. Be open with him, let him know you need to feel more wanted and hopefully you can come to a compromise where you are both happy. Good luck!


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