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You Asked: Why Won't He Just Give Me an Answer?

You Asked: Why Won't He Just Give Me an Answer?

Dear Sugar--

I have asked my boyfriend if he would move in with me and he refuses to give me a YES or NO answer?

If he doesn't want to why doesn't he just say no! I don't understand.

Need to Know Nancy--

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Need to Know Nancy--

I'm sorry to say but if your boyfriend wanted to move in with you, he would have by now. For whatever reason, it sounds like he's not into the idea.

Guys do not like to talk about their feelings, and they especially don't want to upset their girlfriends (they hate "talking things out" and can't deal with crying either). He probably doesn't want to flat out say "I'm not ready to move in" because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

Don't take this as a sign that he doesn't care about you though. Moving in with someone is a huge commitment, and the next step is getting engaged. That idea is probably freaking him out, so if you love him and know he loves you, give him a little time and be patient. Sooner or later, he'll realize he's ready to take that next step.

On the other hand, how long have you been dating this guy? Do you think he'll ever make a solid commitment to you? You might want to think about whether or not you two are on the same page about your relationship. If you are, then I'd ease off the pressure. If you're not, then it may be time to move on. Good luck, Nancy.


amandasunly amandasunly 10 years
Guys are just really insecure - they're not sure how to approach this particular situation. At least that's what I think. Maybe I'm a little naive.
Marci Marci 10 years
I'm sorry to have to say that I agree with lickety.
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
saying nothing/doing nothing is a choice, just not the one you hoped he would make.
honey31 honey31 10 years
Men are hard to figure out my dear!
jennifer76 jennifer76 10 years
Why won't he just give me an answer? Because he doesn't have the answer he thinks you want to hear. Give it time.
cubadog cubadog 10 years
I think more information would be helpful. Like how long have you been together? Chances are he is not ready, give it a rest and wait for him to bring it up!
snowdaytoday snowdaytoday 10 years
I agree - if you wait till he suggests moving in together, you know he's really into it.
Deba Deba 10 years
For guys its a little different you must know that, I remember when my bf gave me his house keys he told me "Remember this is still my place". And he actually was the one that ask me to move in... I guess you should give him some time How long you've been together? That is very important thing, we move in together after 8 months of being together. I do not if this is your case but maybe he feels like you are hurrying things up
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