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If You Had To...

It's If You Had To... Douches Wild edition! On your left, Mystery, the pickup artist who turns nice guys into douches on VH1's The Pickup Artist. On your right, good ol' Criss Angel. They have so much in common! They both wear lame hats, and they both perform tricks! So, you have to share bottle service at Tao in Vegas with one of these dudes. Who would you go out with (and make out with), if you had to...

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TimTimTim TimTimTim 8 years
In reality its the other way around. Not everyone can date these guys. But thats only reality. Who cares.
chloecat21 chloecat21 8 years
where's the option to like scratch out my own eyes or something. they're both such scum
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
I can't stand either of them. I think I'm going to be sick...
Smilesp Smilesp 8 years
If I HAD to chose I'd say Criss Angel. Mystery is just such a skeeze, yuck. I don't think lying to and insulting girls to get them to talk to you makes you a pick up artist, it just makes you LAME.
Seitan Seitan 8 years
That's funny, Fallen85. I chose Mystery because I've never heard of him. Magicians just creep me out anyway.
queenegg queenegg 8 years
I was a little sick after reading this.
Fallen85 Fallen85 8 years
Criss Angel because I've actually heard of him. At least I'll have made out with a semi-celebrity instead of just some loser in a cowboy hat.
dawnoc dawnoc 8 years
I PRAY I never have to make this choice...
Mother-Mayhem Mother-Mayhem 8 years
But why do I HAVE to?? If I had a gun to my head my answer might differ from say the end of the world for everyone ;-) Any BTW... how big is the bottle that we are sharing because it will need to be a REALLY big bottle either way.
Schaianne Schaianne 8 years
I said Cris Angel - but seriously, I think I'd go celibate.
momma-tikita momma-tikita 8 years
:sick: I picked criss angel..I dont know why though. I guess I cant get pass the whole "cowboy/skiguy/gogglewearing/gothdressing" Mystery.
iamangiepooh iamangiepooh 8 years
Neither! I really can't take this poll, sorry. Haha. I was talking to my boyfriend about Mystery, and how I think his whole pick up artist show is so lame. I mean, I get that some people need help with socializing, but the techniques they use are so deceiving and ugh... I just can't stand it.
GiggleSugar GiggleSugar 8 years
That's why they pay me the big bucks, Jabbadoo! :ROTFL:
Jabbadoo Jabbadoo 8 years
Oh man! Both make me want to poke my eyes out with chopsticks. lol I chose Mystery, because I think Criss Angel would constantly be doing magic tricks... "it's maaaagic" (Doug Henning, anyone?) Criminal Minds had an episode a few weeks ago with a Mystery-like character (with another dumb-ass single word name, lol) and they made him look just as pathetic as the real one. Giggle, you always make these a Sophie's Choice thing... there IS no good decision!
mynameischief mynameischief 8 years
I completely agree with Seitan...
missangelique999 missangelique999 8 years
I picked Criss because he seems a lot more interesting..
Seitan Seitan 8 years
This poll made me feel kind of gross and dirty.
mondaymoos mondaymoos 8 years
Chris because at least he could preform magic tricks to entertain me.. I'd just be giving Mystery the "I'd rather kill myself than speak to you" look all night.
jessie jessie 8 years
mystery.....he's better lookin then cris.....
Anniina Anniina 8 years
No.. no, no, noooo!
butterflies butterflies 8 years
Amused, it became a total tie after I voted (without logging in)..19/19!
MeggyPoodles MeggyPoodles 8 years
"the pickup artist who turns nice guys into douche" LOL, its so true! I always wondered WHO considered that mystery guy a master at picking up women?! Although, I never watched long enough to find out. That show is too full of awkward moments for me to watch it. this one is too tough .
flippy flippy 8 years
this is horrifying.
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